On the metaphor of the closet

When I wrote a post which praised people for breaking silence around abuse, I expected some push back. The push-back was the reason I'd written the post - I knew it was coming and wanted to get some praise in first.

I haven't received much response to me personally.* The one negative response I did receive was critical that I 'outed' Ira Bailey. I can see that the point of my post, which wasn't to name him myself but celebrate those who did name him, was lost because the silence around abuse is so strong, that any break in that silence is shocking.

But I was taken by the word 'out' - by the metaphor of the closet for abusive men. I've seen it used before, when someone got angry at a survivor of abuse for 'outting' her abuser. To me it seems so horrificly inappropriate, that I can imagine where people who use it could possibly stand on issues of abuse. But then it occurred to me that it may be a word people use without thinking about it, and that unpacking the implications of this usage might be worth doing.

The closet is a powerful idea and the metaphor carries important ideas about people's sexuality, and society's attitudes towards your sexuality. In particular the idea that 'outing' someone's sexuality is wrong is based on an analysis of the way society treats people's sexuality.

The first aspect of this analysis is that society unjustly judges people's sexuality as shameful. People stay in the closet because they are ashamed of a part of themselves. Coming out of the closet is worth celebrating because its a rejection of society's shaming.

Abuse is not a part of a person, it is a way they have hurt other people. Any (very limited in this society) judgement and shame that abusers experience is a reaction to what people have done, not who they are.

The second aspect of this analysis is that the negative consequences of being open about your sexuality can be significant. People die, they lose their jobs, they get harrassed - all because of an aspect of who they are. The unjustified shame around some people's desires has serious consequences.

The negative consequences for being abusive are much less pervasive than the consequences for being open about your desires. While there are some notable exceptions (particularly violence against pedophiles), generally people's response to those they know are abusive will be muted. If people don't want to be around someone who has been abusive that is a boundary that they are perfectly entitled to draw, and it is the person who has been abusive who should face the consequences of that boundary.

The third aspect of the analysis Your sexuality is yours and yours only. Your desires are yours to keep secret or share, when and where you want to, or feel safe.

Abusive actions do not belong to the person who did them - they something that you do to someone else. No one is entitled to ownership of the way they have hurt other people.

These three aspects of the closet, shame, consequences, and ownership do all in our society apply to people who have been abused. But they do not apply to abusive men (or women).

I'm sorry if this post seems to basic and didatic, but it offends me so much when people misappropriate the language of the closet for abusers. The metaphor does not apply to them and they do not deserve it's protection. I imagine that some people who use this language are not thinking about what they are saying, and are making an honest mistake. But words do matter, so I've tried to articulate why this usage angers me so much.

* The push-back against the women who named Ira Bailey has been significant though. Climate Camp, and particular their safer spaces comittee, have a lot to be ashamed of.

The Hand Mirror's Summer Service

You've probably already worked it out by now; we are on a break. For some strange reason blogging isn't that compelling this time of year! We'll be back when we are back.

0001 is OK, apparently

From the Independent, via the Herald, today:

An Indian politician has sparked outrage after he suggested that cases when a woman was raped after staying out past midnight should be treated differently to other sexual attacks.

Speaking before the country's parliament, Shantaram Naik, an MP from Goa from the ruling Congress Party, reportedly made a series of "contentious" comments referring to the British teenager Scarlett Keeling, who was raped and murdered in Goa last year, and a Russian woman who alleges she was recently the victim of an assault by a state politician.

"An alleged rape of a lady who moves with strangers for days together even beyond middle of the night is to be treated on different footings," said Mr Naik, as opposition MPs shouted their disapproval.

Click through for the rest.

On the one hand this is unacceptable victim-blaming. On the other it's good to see so many people speaking against it. What would ALAC say?

An experiment

Thanks to Amy and Jo at Pretty Pretty Pretty for agreeing to host a modest experiment I'm carrying out over the next few months, taking advantage of the Basement Cat attack to test Bio-Oil. :-)

Pandering to Talkback Land

The "It's Not Ok" campaign against family violence has been cut, despite pushing a significant increase in reporting and ultimately in intervention too. This is another bizarre decision by a Government that seems to automatically consign anything the last Government did to the Two Legs Bad basket.

The money will be reallocated, to a programme targeted only at Maori family violence. Now this may well be a worthwhile programme, deserving of public funding. However this looks to me like a statement from the highest levels that family violence is a Maori problem. It's not. The Minister of Social Development herself has stated this week that over half of the hospital admissions due to family violence are not from Maori families (of course she didn't put it like that). So why put this issue in a ghetto, especially when there was an effective, universal, and already established programme out there? The only reason I can think of is to pander to Talkback Land, who insist that it's a Maori Only problem, despite evidence to the contrary.

While getting a programme like this may be a win for the Maori Party I think they need to think about the broader message it is sending; a racist message of dangerous stereotyping which isn't going to help solve the problem.

Who's LOLing now?

Found at Hello Kitty Hell.

New approach to sex ed?

This was in the Herald on Saturday, sorry to only just get around to posting it today:

A new state-funded experiment is turning traditional sex education on its head - abandoning lectures on the dangers of sexual activity and teaching young people how to get better sex through "ethical relationships".

The "sex & ethics" course, funded by $164,000 from the Ministry of Justice, is being piloted with people aged 16 to 25 at Victoria and Massey universities and two youth centres in Wellington.

Auckland-based Rape Prevention Education director Kim McGregor said she hoped it could be modified for eventual use in schools.

Parents Inc co-founder Ian Grant also welcomed the programme yesterday as "a step forward", but still advised teenagers to delay having sex for as long as they could.

The programme was developed by Australian criminologist Moira Carmody after young people told her in a survey that sex education focused too much on the risks of sex and did not prepare them for "the complexity of sexual intimacy".

The Wellington pilot, co-ordinated by the Wellington Sexual Abuse Network, aims to get young women as well as men to talk about what they want from a sexual relationship.

Its flyer lures people with the line, "If you are ever hoping to have good sex in your life, this is the programme for you."

Co-ordinator Sandra Dickson says it is "a new direction for sexual violence prevention."

"Instead of telling young people what not to do, it's looking at what we want in a sexual relationship and how to get it."

Click through for the rest, although prepare to be disappointed by the pic they've used to illustrate the story.

Seems to be a high focus on the need to communicate, particularly verbally, which is nice to see. Haven't spotted any frothing yet by Family First, I wonder if that's because there is a mildly approving quote from their good buddies at Parents Inc?

Grab-bag

Sorry some of these have taken me a while to share, I didn't realise I had a grab-bag sitting in draft.

• It's only natural, Dave - ask any baboon - Rosemary McLeod considers David Letterman.
• A Day in the Life of an Abortion Clinic Escort - thanks to Anna for submitting this one
• Shakespeare's daughters - Rachel Cusk considers women's writing in the Guardian (thanks to HH for pointing this out on FB)
• Sue Moroney and Cactus Kate look at the curious case of the the Minister of Women's Affairs, and whether her lack of competence might be a deliberate ploy on the part of John Key.
• Why pink doesn't stink - Emily Hill (again in the Guardian) looks at the Pinkstinks campaign and whether pink is as anti-feminists as all that (thanks to the Mighty S for sharing this link)
• Deborah finds a programme to train bar staff in reducing rape that is sans victim-blaming, hurrah!

Feel free to share your links in comments.

Scathing blog post about Twilight

By Fiona Imlach Guneskara at Pundit:

Based on Stephenie Meyer's blockbuster book, New Moon contains elements that are deeply disturbing, although little critique of the underlying messages pervading the Twilight series has appeared in mainstream media. At least one theme that recurs strongly in New Moon should be of great concern to those who work with young people, at whom this movie is targeted, and those working in mental health services.

...The most dreadful aspect of Bella’s insipid character is that she is entirely dependent on the males in her life. All of her actions revolve around them – everything she does is in response to Edward or Jacob. She plays the consummate damsel in distress, without any desire to save herself – how is this possible in the 21st century?

...Why has this story had such appeal to women, despite the dark undercurrents of violence and self-repression? Perhaps it is due to the tremendous pressure society places on women to be superhuman – to simultaneously hold down a job, run a home, be mother, daughter, wife and friend. The appeal of the superhuman man, who is not only unbelievably gorgeous, the perfect gentleman, sensitive, intelligent and wonderfully rich, is overwhelming.

Click through for the whole thing, it's well worth a read.

I haven't read any of the Twilight books although I'd been starting to think maybe I should. I was repulsed by Harry Potter, until I gave in and got hooked. Likewise with the Tomorrow When the War Began series, and Cross Stitch (although this one I gave up on part way through the fifth volume). But Fiona's caused me to reconsider.

What say you? Especially if you have read the books/seen the movies!

Annoying white naval cap thingy which you have to clean with toothpaste tipped in the direction of my dear friend L, via Facebook.

Friday cupcake geekery

My favourite has to be the Chewbacca, mmmmmmm.

ACC changes not working for victims of sexual violence

From the Herald yesterday:

Psychotherapists and counsellors say tight new rules for claiming ACC subsidies for sexual abuse counselling have become "a rapists' charter".

The national associations of psychotherapists, counsellors and social workers have released anonymous details of 54 cases showing longer delays and more rejections since the new rules took effect on October 27.

"ACC's own statistics show a serious reduction in approved claims," they said in a joint statement.

"This must please the rapists and paedophiles.

"They believe that what they do doesn't cause any harm - the new ACC pathway is a rapists' charter."

The new rules provide subsidised counselling only for sexual abuse victims with a diagnosed mental condition caused by the abuse, and generally only for up to 16 weeks before a further review.

Most counsellors and psychotherapists do not have specific training to make psychiatric diagnoses, so they have had to refer cases to psychologists or wait for ACC to get its own psychologists to assess clients.

Auckland's two main specialist agencies, Auckland Sexual Abuse Help and South Auckland's Counselling Services Centre, both said yesterday that they had still not had a single new ACC claim approved since October 27.

Click through for the rest of the article.

This is absolutely disastrous. For the sake of saving some money the Government has decided to cut support for people who have already gone through enough. Who are these changes actually working for? Certainly not those making sensitive claims.

women's voices

just received by email from the "women's voices" programme on planet FM:

Kia ora

It is with deep sadness that I have to tell you that Women's Voices will not be able to air from now on due to its funding been cancelled. The programme was funded by the Office of Ethnic Affairs for the last 4 years.

Women's Voices was a programme for migrant and refugee women, by migrant women about migrant and women's issues. The programme has had great feedback and we have featured some fantastic and inspiring women over the years and have won 3 Planet FM Micies awards during the last 3 years.

I would like to thank all of you who have supported me in various ways, either by being interviewed on the programme or helped me and my team in many ways. I also want to acknowledge my two co presenters who started the show with me Kiran Mallapur and Jennifer Janif who had to leave the programme for personal and professional reasons but who supported me long after they left.

I want to acknowleged the support of the Planet FM team Terri, Christine, Elizabeth, Fred and Julio and former staff member David along with the board of management and Chairperson Joan Rivlin Lardner who has always been of great support. Thank you for offering me the opportunities the programme has offered.

Finally thank you Office of Ethnic Affairs, especially Director Mervin Singham, Berlinda, Shrishti, Fezeela and Tayyaba who have always been of great support for funding the programme which has provided a voice to us ethnic women.

I will still be committed to making sure that the voices of migrants especially women are heard and I am already anticipating other avenues to achieve this although the programme is no more.

Warm regards to all of you and wish you a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2009.
Asoka Basnayake
Producer/Presenter
Women's Voices on Access Radio 104.6 Planet FM
Contact: 021 167 7475 or email: womens.voices@hotmail.com

this really makes me sad. ethnic nz women get very little public space and public voice as it is, and to lose a programme like this means that space gets just a little bit smaller. the government can support iwi radio stations and pacifika radio stations (as it should), but has no money to pay the sponsorship for a small, one-hour show? pretty sad.

if anyone can provide support for asoka or the show, that would be much appreciated. the minister in charge of this decision is hon pansy wong, and she can be contacted at
p.wong@ministers.govt.nz. see here (pdf) for other contact details.

Inadvertent Xmas vileness

Snapped outside the Greenlane Presbytarian Church in Auckland today.

Paul Henry loses Breakfast an advertiser

Thanks to Idiot/Savant for his support and for sharing the response he received from FreemanX:

I wasn't particularly impressed with the presentation of our experience nor by certain things said by Paul Henry, but suffice to say we won't be advertising with them again.

Again I can't comment on Paul Henry's past comments & opinions as I simply do not watch him enough, however I would hate for FreemanX to be associated with offensive or inappropriate behavior of any kind. Our business has always been modeled off the kiwi can-do attitude, based on quality customer service.

Thank you however for bringing this to my attention & it may be a case of choosing our advertising a bit more cautiously in the future.

If you haven't emailed the remaining major advertisers, to let them know that while they support Paul Henry you won't be supporting them, then now's good:

Heritage Hotels/City Life - susang@heritagehotels.co.nz
McDonalds - mark.hawthorne@nz.mcd.com or care@nz.mcd.com
Village Roadshow - info@roadshow.co.nz
Visit Britain - newzealand@visitbritain.org

I've had nothingness responses from McDonalds and Visit Britain, which I'll put up when I get a chance, however if they get enough emails they might just rethink...

More info on this, including a sample email and a list of key points, can be found here.

Guest post: A little bit of reader help please

Hello Handmirrovians!

Julie has kindly let me do a guest post this week.

My name is Sophia and I am currently the Co-President of the New Zealand Union of Students’ Association and next year I will be the National Women’s Rights Officer.

As part of my role I have to organise three conferences each year, with a two day conference in January for female student executive members.

The purpose of Women’s conference in January is to provide interesting and useful workshops for female executive members, provide practical training and also create a cohesive and functional Tertiary Women’s Focus Group.

As you can imagine, we get a diverse group of women attending Women’s conference, so I want to create a ‘smorgasbord’ of workshops that can hopefully give everyone attending a ‘taste’ of different issues happening for women in education and wider civil society.

I’ve got a few ideas already of some workshops, but would very much appreciate any ideas any readers might have, speakers that would be interesting to listen to, or any thought provoking research that could be presented.

Cheers
Sophia

Thanks S - readers please add your suggestions in comments :-)

Politically incorrect gone mad?

Because of this.

How dare Nigel Latta use his critical faculties and his clinical psychology expertise to come to a rational decision!

I'm pretty much assuming anyone interested in this story will already be sick of the nitty gritty because it is getting saturation coverage.

So instead I wanted to draw attention to the End of the Affair between Latta and Family First.

In the beginning it appears Latta could be the saviour of the smackers, flawed only by his refusal to meet with Family First Bob McCoskrie:

Family First NZ is welcoming the appointment of Nigel Latta to the s59 Review Process but is concerned by his comments that he will not be meeting with any lobby groups.

“Nigel Latta has said ‘I did not agree with the original law change. I also voted no in the referendum. I do not believe that a parent smacking their child, in the ‘common sense’ understanding of what that means, should be subject to criminal prosecution or investigation’. That is a breath of fresh air, completely politically incorrect, and suggests that he will represent the concerns of NZ parents when he reviews the effect of the law,” says Bob McCoskrie, National Director of Family First NZ.

...Family First is inviting Nigel Latta to meet parents negatively impacted by the anti-smacking law. [my emphasis]

Oh the irony - Latta, the independent reviewer on the panel, with Family First's backing, looked at all the evidence around the cases Family First highlighted and found Bob's version lacking in the critical area of veracity. The results are damning for McCoskrie, and I would hope fatally undermine any credibility he still had with the media.

Yesterday Bob said this about the final report from Latta's review:

Family First NZ is dismissing yet another report on the anti-smacking law which fails to address the real issues and concerns over the law change.

“This is the eighth report in just over two years on the law change. There have never been so many reports in such a short time frame on a law change in an attempt to sell it,” says Bob McCoskrie, National Director of Family First NZ. “The police have done six reports, a report from the ministry of Social Development, and now this report commissioned by the Prime Minister in response to the overwhelming rejection of the law in the recent Referendum.”

So Family First are the Way, the Truth and the Light, and everyone else, including zillions of people with everyday practical knowledge of child abuse and parenting, is clearly Wrong.

Nigel Latta certainly won't be getting a Chrissie card from Bob McCoskrie anytime soon.

Some days it's hard to be a feminist revisited

A mere fortnight has passed since I blogged about the Herald front page shrieking at all and sundry about a Battle of the Babes, which transpired to in fact be the possibility of two young female MPs contesting the same seat in 2011.

Today, oh wondrous day, they did it again, this time probably torpedoeing the Police's latest positive PR attempt in the process:

Although maybe the Police have self-sabotaged a wee bit, seeing as how, according to the Herald:

From today, pictures of attractive young officers holding books with covers featuring themselves in different policing scenes and the slogan "Find Yourself in Better Work Stories", will adorn bus shelters and websites.

I wonder at what stage of the writing process that "attractive" entered the sentence...

Click through for the article itself if you so desire. It has some interesting bits about women in the police force, in particular the woeful stats (17% of police are female).

Pay Equity rally in Hamilton last Friday

Big thanks to The Worker's Hero (aka Super G) for sending this pic through. They are outside the local National Party office in Hamilton.

Tea workers facing starvation in India

From the IUF website:

Tata, the transnational Indian conglomerate whose Tetley Group makes the world famous Tetley teas, has taken 6,500 people hostage through hunger. The hostages are nearly 1,000 tea plantation workers and their families on the Nowera Nuddy Tea Estate in West Bengal, India. Permanently living on the edge of hunger, the workers and their dependants are being pushed to the edge of starvation through an extended lock out which has deprived them of wages for all but two days since the beginning of August. The goal of this collective punishment is to starve the workers into renouncing their elementary human rights, including the right to protest extreme abuse and exploitation.

The hostage-taking began with a first lockout on August 10, when workers protested the abusive treatment of a 22 year-old tea garden worker who was denied maternity leave and forced to continue work as a tea plucker despite being 8 months pregnant. On August 9, Mrs Arti Oraon collapsed in the field and was brought to the hospital, on a platform towed by a tractor, after the medical officer refused to make an ambulance available (he had proposed she be brought by bicycle). She was initially refused treatment, and only after her co-workers protested did she receive minimal care. Her treatment was inadequate and she had to be taken, by the same tractor, to the local government hospital one hour away.

Click through for the rest.

It takes about 30 seconds to send an automated email to Tetley to show your support for these locked out workers.

Currently I'm reading a novel called 1951, about the lockout of wharfies in our own country over 50 years ago. Many of the emergency regulations brought in at that time by the Holland Government seem incredibly draconian now; it was illegal to help the locked out workers or their families in anyway, even through giving them food, and no media coverage favourable to the workers was allowed either. Maia knows a lot more about the 1951 Lockout than me, so I hope she comments on this one. My observation reading the novel is just how hard the situation was on the families, as well as the workers themselves, and how the responsibility often fell on the mothers and wives to try to manage things. My grandfather was a wharfie in 1951, locked out and then black-listed, and the impact it had on the family was massive. My mother told me recently that my Nana didn't have a single intact piece of underwear by the end of the lockout; a difficult way to live for a 1950s housewife no doubt. I can only imagine how much tougher it must be for these tea workers.

Paul Henry must change or go

Thanks to Craig for this idea in comments. Hope it works!

TVNZ have had numerous complaints about Paul Henry's most recent ridiculousness, to them directly, to the Human Rights Commission, and to the Broadcasting Standards Authority. While we don't know yet what their response will be, as Paul Henry's employer, we do know that last time they pretended to take things seriously, but Henry's behaviour has not changed.

But surely we can rely on TVNZ to act responsibly? Despite one of Henry's colleagues distancing himself from the latest gaffe, TVNZ management itself seem to be ok with it all as long as it rates. But perhaps they won't be so happy if their advertisers are unhappy...

What I'd like people to do is to commit to sending emails to five of Breakfast's key advertisers covering the following key points:

1. Paul Henry frequently editorialises in a manner that denigrates guests, encourages discrimination against marginalised groups, and judges people based on their appearance
2. Paul Henry's offensive comments are unacceptable
3. Paul Henry must change his behaviour or be replaced
4. As an advertiser choosing to buy time during Breakfast your company is supporting his behaviour and I will therefore not be purchasing anything from your company

Here's a standard message you can cut and paste and use if you so choose.

To the CEO/Managing Director,
I am disappointed that you have chosen to advertise on TVNZ's Breakfast show while Paul Henry remains one of the hosts.

Henry's inappropriate and offensive comments towards guests on the show, and other people mentioned in news items, have continued unabated since he was reprimanded for this behaviour earlier this year.

While Henry and TVNZ have claimed that Breakfast is a light-hearted entertainment show it still purports to be a source of news and current affairs interviews, and Henry's denigration of people featured, particularly women and particularly based on physical appearance, is unacceptable to me.

I will not be watching Breakfast until Henry ceases to act in this way, or is replaced. I will also not be spending my money on your products or services while you continue to advertise on a show that features him.
Yours etc,

I've used the subject line "Will not be spending my money with your company while you advertise on Paul Henry's Breakfast show." Not very snappy, but gets the point across I hope!

Please make sure that one of your five emails goes to Heritage Hotels/City Life, as they are the main sponsors of Breakfast. The email to send it to is:

susang@heritagehotels.co.nz

I've noted the following organisations currently sponsoring competitions on Breakfast:

McDonalds - kate.porter@nz.mcd.com or mark.hawthorne@nz.mcd.com *
Village Roadshow - info@roadshow.co.nz
Visit Britain - newzealand@visitbritain.org
FreemanX - info@freemanx.co.nz

Do let me know if you are aware of any others and I'll add them in to the list.

If you're not sure why you should be so bothered about Paul Henry, here's some links worth checking out:

• The series of incidents dubbed Moustachegate, which included Henry belittling an interview subject's views on a serious topic because she had facial hair, after she had left, and then continuing to dig further in the media afterwards
• Josh Kronfeld calls Paul a dickhead after he comments in a drooling fashion about the appearance of Josh's dance partner
• Paul Henry insensitively encourages telly psychic Deb Webber to get involved in the disappearance of Aisling Symes (a continuation of his general support for the psychics on Sensing Murder in general, and Deb Webber in particular, in a manner more like someone pushing another TVNZ show than behaving like a responsible journalist)
• IHC's call for complaints to the Human Rights Commission, as well as to TVNZ and the Broadcasting Standards Authority, after Henry made offensive comments about Susan Boyle, and also denigrated those living with intellectual disabilities. Again, as with his attack on Stephanie Mills, Henry has continued to make things worse in his response to criticism.
• And here's a few more of Henry's worst hits, from Stuff, ..."They are so arrogant and hideous people, campervan people." Teenage mum a "slapper". Obese children "should be taken away from their parents and put in a car compactor". Convicted murderer Antonie Dixon dies: "I can hear a chorus of people saying 'thank goodness'."

Paul Henry must change or go. Let's help TVNZ to see that.


* The McDonald's website lists no email addresses, makes it impossible to find one, and requires you to use the online feedback form. The two emails I had previously tried and then struck out were guesses on my part, both bounced back. The contact form is pretty full on, requiring you to provide your postal address and a phone number, but I've dont that anyway and have requested a response. Will update if I get a better idea for this one, but please do share in comments if you have any tips! UPDATE: Thanks to A Reader who emailed with the nz.mcd.com addresses - I have tried them both and they haven't bounced back yet, so fingers crossed they work!

Grab Bag

• Queen of Thorns explains, in her amazingly biting fashion, exactly who does need identity politics, thanks very much.
• Gregory Fortuin writes in The Dom Post about the need for paid parental leave for fathers too.
• RIP Anna Woolf (aka Annie Fox)
• Deborah has been incredibly busy in real life. (What is it about late November and December that we always end up with Stuff Happening that just makes a naturally busy time of year ridiculously jam packed?)
• Boganette makes the point tattoo = /= tramp
• And finally, how refreshing, shavers and pluckers and stuff for teh laydeez that are not pink!
  

Lack of empathy: good summation of Paul Henry's approach

By Tom Scott, from Stuff.

Also I haz a modest plan in regard to Mr Henry. Which shall be blogged on the morrow once I am finished typing it up.

Sexual assault victim speaks out on name suppression

In a meta moment, the Herald reports on an interview in the NZ Women's Weekly:

The teenage girl indecently assaulted by a prominent musician has broken her silence, saying that even police tried to dissuade her from pursuing charges against him.

In an exclusive interview in this week's New Zealand Woman's Weekly, Brittany Cancian, 17, demanded that the prominent entertainer be named. She said the case had left her wanting justice.

Brittany, of Lower Hutt, revealed that police advised her that the musician was offering $200 to charity and told her that she should have "some compassion" towards him. "My dad went berserk about that."

Brittany told the Woman's Weekly that she had been treated like a "dog". "I felt like crap.

"I'm angry that he got name suppression. I think if he was a normal person, it would be different. I want people to know his name and I feel like the court has taken his side."

Click through for the rest of the article.

Will be interesting to see if the police do comment on the allegations that they basically tried to make this go away. Probably though they will just take Judy Callingham's advice about just saying no. I'm sure many many police do good work in the area of sexual violence, especially since the Louise Nicholas cases, however on the face of it looks like they are not there yet.

On this topic, readers may be interested in this post at Kiwiblog (and actually you need to read the comments to get the full tenor of it, they are nowhere near as bad as usual), in which David Farrar talks about his experience participating in a panel discussion on name suppression and the internet, and inadvertently lets the cat out of the bag. It's a good example of just how tricky this stuff is in the days of Web 2.0.

A challenge for the ex-expat's cake making skills

Out cake-geek this!


And it has a working red eye that goes back and forth like the ah real thing!

Found via Sci-fi Wire's iphone app.

Mum vs mum

Deborah Hill Cone has been going through the process of becoming a solo mum lately, and last week she wrote about motherhood along these lines:

...Girl two: "My daddy helps people. He's a lawyer." "What does your mummy do?" "My mummy makes the dinner."

Is Devonport the suburb that feminism forgot? I have been wondering about that since my marriage split up. I seem to be the only solo parent in this suburb of shiny, happy people. Certainly I'm the only one who lets her kids draw on the walls with impunity and considers Banana Up & Go a vegetable. I have always felt simpatico with Devonport but now I am not in a pristine nuclear family I feel a bit of a freak. I didn't realise separation still had such a stigma...

New blogger (but not new writer) and fellow Devonportian Cath responds, including:

...I know I will return to work at some point. I like it. But I’ve learned a bit from this year about having one parent around the home. It’s good. And I don’t think people who choose this as a full time occupation should be sneezed at, DHC. Many people make huge sacrifices to keep one partner, male or female, in the home. Weighing up working in an interesting job with the regular drudgery of making dinner is hardly fair. It isn’t about picture perfect families, or perfect 1950s marriages with 1950s division of labour, it’s about people making choices that work for them...

Both are well worth a read and a mull. For the record I agree with Cath.*

I tend to think the Mommy Wars are something of a myth, encouraged by a media that prefers to paint in black and white than those pesky shades of grey. In everyday life most mothers in Camp A also know mums in Camp B, and get along ok much of the time. When we dislike each other I venture to suggest that it's not because one person is in a full-time job and the other is not, but actually it's because we don't like each other as individuals, and probably wouldn't if our lives were identical. Just because we are mothers doesn't mean we've signed up to love and befriend all other mothers for everymore.

Women dip in and out of paid work as their family and (I hope) personal needs require. Regardless of whether we are engaged full time at home or otherwise, in many homes the adult females pick up most of the unpaid domestic work. The latter is changing (fingers crossed) and the old ideas about women belonging primarily in the home are becoming more fluid too, in more and more places and families across the world.

If I'm being brutally honest I can recall vividly times during pregnancy and motherhood when I felt trapped. Not by Wriggly himself, but by the societal expectations around women who become mums and step-mums, and by the workload of mothering.

For me my paid work is something that usually helps me to be free; it challenges me and extends me in different ways to motherhood. I feel privileged to be able to do both - my day job and my night job, if you will.

I tried staying home for a while, and after a time it didn't suit me well. I don't think it would suit me now either, and luckily I have some choices around that because of my circumstances, in particular the willingness of my partner to command most of the private sphere for a while. But being at home full time may be me again some time, I just don't know. Maybe next time I'm home I'll wonder what mad trance I was in that I ever though working full time was what I wanted to do. Who knows?

In the meantime I do consider my stay home sisters and sometimes look forward to the possibility of being amongst them in the future. That work has its stresses and strains too, and not just dirty nappies either. And it is work. It's all work. In a society that indicates the value of something by its monetary cost it's easy to dismiss the unpaid as without value, to render it invisible. But it's neither; in fact the private sphere work largely carried out by women and girls allows the public sphere work to happen. Without a full belly and a good night's sleep and clean clothes how well would any of us in paid work function in our employment? And without homes and families and friends to come back to at the end of the day and to enjoy our weekends and holidays with, what is the point?

We work together, the paid and the unpaid. I hope I never forget that.


* But then I would say that, given we discussed this obliquely not that long ago at lunch!

Every season is Diet Season

The 1950s called, they want their gender roles back

A few weeks ago mothers were chided for not being Julia Child.

Now it's single women who are being told how to cook to find themselves a fella.

The article is complete with a cheesecake shot of the author who has landed herself a surgeon with her fabulous food. Cause you know a car mechanic just wouldn't be worth cooking for.

McLeod skewers Henry

And roasts him searingly. Here's a few highlights:

..."Paul," said I, "never have I seen such a vaulted and noble forehead! Surely you do not shave your hairline, thus cheating, to seem intellectual?"...

...Using my own studies as a guide, it's not hard to see Ms Boyle's problem. It's in the unplucked eyebrows she first appeared with, her bad frock and unkempt hair. Her high and apparently noble forehead is deceptive, since it balances far too symmetrically with her jaw. Had her jawline been daintier, it would have been quite another matter. She might have proved to be a useful parlour maid. But as it is, she's condemned to be a mere singing sensation.

I must deal swiftly with any imputation that Paul laughed insensitively at the mention of oxygen deprivation. This was merely evidence of his inquiring mind at work, and he is naturally joyful. Everyone knows, too, how he chuckles at the mention of playground bullying such as Ms Boyle was said to experience as a child. But this is only because it calls to mind the jolly times he had in the playground himself, configuring trigonometry whilst playing virtuoso violin and chewing bubblegum, all at the same time. He was ever of a forward, as opposed to a retarded, nature.

Click through for the whole column.

This latest ridiculousness from Paul Henry seems to have been the last straw for many. Over 200 complaints to the Human Rights Commission, and who knows how many people have, like me, complained to TVNZ directly. (On that note, has anyone who has emailed Breakfast had a response? I haven't...)

UOA Gender & Psychology Symposium: Sexualisation & Pornography

Thanks to Leonie for sending this through!

Gender & Psychology Symposium - Sexualisation and Pornography: Research, analysis, change?

Pornography is perennially controversial. Some defend it as a domain for free sexual expression and enjoyment for all; others point to the misogyny displayed in its portrayals of women. In this age of so-called ‘raunch culture’, pornography is no longer just hidden away in the bedrooms of boys and men. Women and girls are invited to share the gaze, and are told that it is empowering to do so. Beyond the consumption of pornography, pornographic images, styles of embodiment, and modes of sexual engagement have become ‘mainstreamed’ into advertising, music, and popular cultural fashions. Relatedly, an overtly sexualised style is increasingly promoted to younger and younger girls in the form of toys, activities, clothing and accessories. These cultural shifts have already become largely normalized and naturalized. Do they amount to harmless fun? Or do they contribute to the cultural production of forms of masculinity and femininity that ultimately work against girls’ and women’s choices and wellbeing?

In this symposium, which showcases some of the best undergraduate student work in Gender and Psychology at the University, young women will present research, critical analysis, and their creative ideas for change. We hope to generate wider discussion and debate, and foster constructive connections between people interested in these issues.

Date: Friday 11 December 2009
Time: 10am – 1pm
Venue: Room 604, Level 6, Human Sciences Building, 10 Symonds Street, University of Auckland

PROGRAMME
10am Welcome & Introductions - Nicola Gavey

10.15am Sexualisation and Children - Hazel Albertyn, Katie Malone, Courtney Ross, & Natalia Samorow

11.15am Tea Break

11.30am Pornography and Society - Alex Antevska, Danielle Hay, Lisa Paz, & Jaimee Robinson

12.30pm Panel Discussion:
Caroline Fergusson, Women’s Rights Officer, AUSA
Denise Ritchie, Stop Demand
Melanie Govender, Psychology Student, University of Auckland
Chair: Virginia Braun

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ALL WELCOME

This symposium is free and open to the public.

Please rsvp for catering purposes to Meena Sadera m.sadera at auckland.ac.nz

For further information, please contact:
Nicola Gavey, Department of Psychology, The University of Auckland, n.gavey at auckland.ac.nz

Prominent psychotherapist & counsellor highly critical of ACC changes

I've reproduced below Eric Medcalf's speech because I think it's an important read for those concerned about the impact the new ACC approach to "sensitive claims" will have. I hope he's ok with that, I got it from Scoop.

In a speech to a public meeting on ACC changes in Wellington on Tuesday 30th November Eric Medcalf, Psychotherapist and Counsellor. Ethics Convenor of the NZ Association of Counsellors and Council Member of the NZ Association of Psychotherapists slammed the changes to ACC’s policies on claims for treatment for injuries relating to sex crimes.

“Sexual Abuse in New Zealand is a Scandal.; ACC pulling back on services for Survivors is a scandal; They say it’s because of the law – that’s a SHAM; They say it’s because of scientific evidence – that’s a SHAM

“It’s about cutting costs and bullying the vulnerable

“Dr Smith has said publicly that the government has no plans to change ACC services to victims of sex crimes – yet the corporation for which he has overall responsibility has stated publicly that it is its policy to reduce the number of sensitive claims.

“It would be wonderful if this were through a concerted campaign of prevention, which is ACC’s statutory obligation.

“There is an urgent need for the implementation of programmes for the primary prevention of child sexual abuse, and the provision of support and treatment for women who have experienced child sexual abuse……..” says Dr Janet Fanslow of the Auckland University Faculty of Medical Sciences.

“But the facts are that ACC is doing this through policies in which it has made it much more difficult for victims of sex crimes to gain the support they need. This will have repercussions for the health of New Zealand.

“The effects of sexual abuse are well known in relation to individuals, but individuals are also members of families, workplaces, social and community groups. Untreated psychological trauma has its consequences. It’s not surprising then that sexual abuse histories are over-represented in prison and mental hospital populations, that we get bullying in workplaces, family breakdowns, community violence and vandalism.

“Some facts about sexual abuse in New Zealand

“A study by the University of Auckland indicates that about one in four New Zealand women have been victims of child sexual abuse before the age of 15

“In the majority of cases one perpetrator was involved, usually a male family member, and around half of the women had experienced the abuse on more than one occasion. The average age of the victim at the start of the abuse was nine years old, with the average age of the abuser being 30

488,792 New Zealand women have been subject to childhood sexual abuse.

• “Researchers think that 1 in every 4 girls will be molested before her sixteenth birthday. One out of every 9 boys will be molested”.
The Sexual Abuse of Children – Facts you should know – Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand pamphlet.
4-10% children physically abused
11-20% children are sexually abused
New Zealand Children’s Social Health Monitor 2009

Some information about the ways that ACC works.

ACC is built upon the Woodhouse Committee of 1967 it is a “no fault” system based on five basic principles:

• Community Responsibility
• Comprehensive Entitlement
• Complete Rehabilitation
• Real Compensation, and
• Administrative Efficiency

(A lot of good came out of 1967, not just Sergeant Pepper, Jim Hendrix and the Cream).

To make a claim there has to be an accident and an injury – if you have an accident and no injury then ACC will not be interested. If you have an injury, but no accident then likewise.

In the case of sexual abuse and assault Parliament has made it possible for victims of sex crimes to able to gain treatment and rehabilitation on the basis that the crime constitutes the “accident”, as long as there is also a mental injury. Since this has been the case victims of sex crimes have been able to make claims on the basis that they have described what happened to them and have been assessed by a professional counsellor, psychologist or psychotherapist as having a “a clinically significant behavioural, cognitive or psychological dysfunction”. This would have been an assessment of impairment, not illness; observable ways in which a person’s ordinary functioning is significantly impaired by the psychological consequences of abuse.


ACC Services for survivors of Sexual Crimes have been the jewel in the crown of ACC. Since the inclusion of sexual abuse crimes in the early 1980s many thousands of survivors of sexual abuse have received ACC-funded treatment and rehabilitation. This service epitomises the Woodhouse principle that the ACC scheme is not just about insurance, it is also a arm of social welfare policy, with the good of New Zealanders at its heart.

We are now in a climate of cost cutting in the public sector and of turning ACC from an arm of health and welfare policy to an American-style managed care insurance company. This will have implications across the board for New Zealanders. In the US kids no longer play American Football because the health insurers demand so much in premiums. What will that mean for New Zealand kids sporting activities?

ACC are reducing Sensitive Claims by making it more difficult for survivors of sexual crimes to make a claims.

ACC are:

• Insisting on a full psychiatric diagnosis – citing a legal judgement which, they say, obliges them to do this.
A diagnosis is a clinical tool to be used carefully and safely. It is not a legal test. This must be questioned by the lawyers and the law makers.
Very few people will be available to make this diagnosis. To do this properly requires not only training in diagnostic procedures but also significant experience in sexual abuse treatment. This shortage will make it very difficult for survivors to gain access to these assessments, if they are not put off in advance by the coercion to comply – a direct parallel of the reality of sexual abuse.

• Reducing the treatment hours, citing research from Massey University in support. But the research does not support this – ACC are misusing and misquoting scientific evidence to suit their cost cutting purposes. Massey University have distanced themselves from ACC’s claims and it is noticeable that ACC are no longer making reference to this $800,000 research study – it no longer suits their agenda.

• Promoting and/or allowing administrative delays and inconsistencies. Claimants and treatment providers get confused messages about what they are supposed to do.

• Declining claims on spurious grounds, some examples are:

- “Claimant came from a “dysfunctional family” (you don’t say)
- “Claimant was a psychiatric patient and was raped by another patient, therefore was “already mentally ill”.”
- “Claimant didn’t have a GP therefore no GP notes available so claim declined”
- “One client, recently applied for ACC, has completed initial sessions but is now likely to pull out – she is extremely afraid of being given a diagnosis and what this will mean for her future employment, mortgage, insurance, etc, prospects. She is also angry that she may need to tell her story again to someone else within a few months.”
- “My client received several pages of questions from an ACC Psychologist that were to be posted back before meeting him. She felt most anxious and daunted by the questions and needed support as to how to answer. She also felt nauseous at being forced to meet a male and felt she was being "punished". My client reports it's for an assessment. She had 2-3 pages of questions- 1 page covering 150 questions. She laid it aside for 2/52 and then tackled it. She reports it was like an exam and was degrading."Äll my trauma was laid out in front of me and I could see visions of all the perpetrators. I felt yuck and exhausted afterwards." Now, she feels "labelled" and is angry”.
- “A mental health social worker said that one of their clients was referred to ACC for child sexual abuse therapy by a Mental health service psychiatrist after an assessment. ACC insisted the person see a second psychiatrist to distinguish mental illness due to chid sexual abuse rather than some other condition. Client objected and consequently self-harmed “
- From a counsellor in a small New Zealand town:
“Last week I saw client who had previous counselling with a local clinical psychologist. She chose to return to counselling with a psychotherapist because she felt the previous counselling did not go deep enough and she required more in depth work. I sent the return to counselling report in (I was told by the call centre that they were still accepting these) and the response she got had this to say: In order to determine further treatment for you, your claim will be reviewed by a Clinical Psychologist employed by us… following this review, we may be able to make a decision on your claim or we may need you to have an assessment with an independent psychologist or psychiatrist.” They then go on to say “We will write to you to let you know: what our decision is, or who you will be assessed by (the emphasis is mine) and what the assessment will involve……” There aren't many clin. psych in this little town so it is likely that she will need to return to the person she didn't want to return to. Will she have a say in this? And why can't they accept my own assessment of the situation? “

Skilled and experienced counsellors, psychologists and psychotherapists are considering whether they can continue to support a system which is causing harm to victims of crime.

I believe that it is bullying that we are observing here.

It has been well reported that ACC as a place of employment has a “Bullying Culture” (see Dominion 2/10/08), this is now being extended to the bullying of some of our most vulnerable members of society.

When ACC insist that all new claimants must have a full psychiatric assessment and a diagnosis of mental illness they are raising the bar to help for many thousands of people, women, children and men, who have suffered sexual abuse as children, or been sexually assaulted as adults. They are saying “prove to us you are mentally ill before we will give you any help”. This is insulting to victims of sex crimes.

This also plays into the hands of abusers whose mantra is that “it doesn’t do any harm”………..

Dr Nick Smith is the Minister for ACC and Climate Change – he needs to watch out for the climate of public opinion – it’s changing rapidly and this government is digging a hole for itself in the minds of New Zealanders who expect to live an humane society, not one that keeps shutting the doors on the most vulnerable.

Note to Stuff

Authors of the Stuff News Quiz, kindly write this down:

Prostitution is not illegal in Aotearoa New Zealand

That will be all.

Rainbow Wellington taking NZ Blood Service to the HRC

On Stuff today:

A gay rights group is taking the New Zealand Blood Service to the Human Rights Commission over the ban on sexually active homosexual men giving blood.

Rainbow Wellington wants fewer restrictions on gay men giving blood and will have mediation with the blood service in February.

The service reviewed risks posed by homosexual men in 2007, with a report released in April last year.

Previously, any man who had engaged in homosexual acts over the past decade was banned from giving blood.

The service now prohibits any man who has engaged in protected or unprotected anal or oral sex with another man over the past five years from giving blood.

Rainbow Wellington chairman Tony Simpson said that effectively banned all men in homosexual relationships and was discriminatory.

In Tasmania, men who had gay sex had to wait a year before giving blood, while in Britain they were banned forever, he said.

Simpson said three to six months was all that was necessary for the virus to show up in tests.

Click through for the rest.

Great to see this issue getting an airing. The ban mainly seems to have been about discrimination at worst and ignorance of the actual risks at best.

access to justice

like gordon campbell, i'm not particularly happy with the drastic changes proposed for the legal services agency and the speed with which they will be put through. like so many other areas of policy, this looks like another rushed decision that is likely to lead to significant hardship for many people.

the way that our current adversarial system is structured means that access to justice depends on the amount of money the parties have to spend. in criminal cases, the prosecution has the significant backing of the crown. to ensure a fair outcome, the defendant needs to have similar financial backing.

the legal aid system goes part way to providing balance to the system. the problem is that you have to be quite poor before you can access legal aid. and even if you do qualify, legal aid now functions as a loan, so that you will eventually have to pay the money back out of assets or earnings. the potential size of that loan will influence the access to justice for many people, and determine how far they are prepared to go in a particular case.

so the current system doesn't function very well, but it does function adequately. the althernative is to have a public defender's office, where lawyers work on fixed salaries so are less likely to be tempted to take longer on a particular case or to draw out cases through appeals.

on the other hand, such an office needs adequate funding to work properly, and salaries need to be competitive. otherwise, the best lawyers go to private practice and the worst lawyers become public defenders, meaning that the poorest people get the worst representation. legal aid currently doesn't provide great rates of compensation, and in fact, there is very little incentive for top-earning lawyers to take legal aid cases.

this is an issue that particularly affects women, as women are more likely to be in poverty and are often in need of legal aid in cases of domestic violence. any weakening of publicly funded legal services affects the wellbeing of more than individuals, it affects families.

just in case anyone is interested in the make up of the governing board of the legal services agency, here are the members who have resigned:
carole durbin (chair) - lawyer with simpson greerson, and many other roles
alister james - barrister
pare keiha - pro-vice chancellor maori, AUT with various post-graduate qualifications
jane taylor - barrister

these two, appointed in september this year, are staying:
jane huria - provides corporate governance via hsr governance ltd
ross tanner - specialist in public policy, former deputy state services commissioner (1993-2001)

and the following two have just been appointed:
john hansen -retired high court judge
john spencer - company director

so just like the ACC board, all those appointed by the previous government have been removed. make of that what you will, but if ACC is anything to go by, the changes at the top aren't likely to be good for those at the bottom end of society.

ANTM breaking news: filming in NZ this week

Via the Herald:

Several episodes of the next season of America's Next Top Model will be filmed in New Zealand, host and former top model Tyra Banks confirmed on Twitter this morning.

"Rumours are true & U R 1st to know. Top Model is goin to NEW ZEALAND for cycle 14! Can't wait to get there. Are y'all excited for next cycle?," Banks' verified Twitter account said.

...Hindin Miller said Banks was due to fly to New Zealand this week and would be joined by the show's new judge, American Vogue editor-at-large Andre Leon Talley.

Filming would begin on Thursday or Friday this week, in locations including Queenstown and Auckland, he said...

Click through for the whole thing.

I thought this might be a good way to kick off a bit of a discussion about why people watch ANTM so fervently, despite the fact that on the face of it the show should be verboten to feminists. For me I think a lot of it is about Tyra and how she always manages to make it about herself, no matter what, which is kind of like a metaphor for the modern Fashion Machine.

What do you think?

The Hand Mixer - Lazy Saturday Brunch Edition

This has been on the down low a bit while we tried it out in November, but we would love to see you at The Library Cafe, Princes St, Onehunga, on December 5th from 10am - approx. 12noon, for brunchy goodness and general feministy mixing and mingling.

More on Facebook here.

This is basically a very low maintenance version of a Hand Mixer. It's a child friendly venue (and Wriggly will be there), and also caters for a wide variety of diets, including platters of healthy goodies for the kidlets. We're hoping to make this a monthly thing in 2010 - first Saturday of the month.

What we need is a suggestion about something to put on the table so that people know they are in the right spot if they don't know others on sight. Any ideas?