tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post1749526588794625185..comments2023-10-07T22:37:49.244+13:00Comments on The Hand Mirror: A ramble about unacceptable behaviour in activisty groupskatyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742280289613450293noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-70388328213808044712011-10-03T23:05:23.698+13:002011-10-03T23:05:23.698+13:00I'm male and was involved in an activist group...I'm male and was involved in an activist group that disintegrated 20 years ago because we had 4 Omars in quick succession. (Omar part 1, The Pilot, Omar part 2, and Omar part 3). The group was one of those ones founded by an ever present individual with a very strong personality and a group of friends. The rank and file seemed to stay for a year or two before moving on.<br /><br />I'd been recruited a year or so before by W (female) who I knew from overlapping social circles. I was on the periphery (having a job was sort of frowned upon and viewed as establishment but that is another story). Then I moved city and was only involved as a cheerleader. <br /><br />W visited me in the new city and told me about her and The Pilot and said nobody was taking her seriously. I went ballistic and wrote (on paper - it was a long time ago) to the movers and shakers. All said mostly the same thing. Three comments in particular stuck with me. <br /><br />B (male) said that The Pilot had given the group a computer and printer (a moderately big deal back then) so they needed him. <br /><br />M (male) said that The Pilot and my friend had a previous history so 'it' probably was nothing. <br /><br />K (female) said that The Pilot had a job and a car and said that was why she (K) had told W to be 'friends' with The Pilot. <br /><br />W and I had also had a very brief fling and were now 'just friends' and that was why she'd come to couch surf (we later chastely flatted for the rest of the year). W told me she'd been 'instructed' to recruit me by whatever means necessary but assured me that it hadn't been entirely unpleasant. Ouch - there no salve for wounded male dignity.<br /><br />Omar part 1 had happened just before my time and lead to an exodus and explained the need for the recruitment drive that had included me. People had left because the group founder has downplayed the seriousness of the 'incident' and convinced enough people to give Omar another chance leaving those who opposed this no option except to leave.<br /><br />Soon after W visited, Omar part 2 happened. This time attempts to deal with Omar were thwarted because the group founder and several others had carried out some actions that were technically illegal. Omar threatened to go to the police unless he was allowed to remain. <br /><br />Omar remained as a senior person and a core group of women (not in the group but sharing the social circle) made it a mission to warn all potential partners of Omar that he behaved poorly towards partners. Sadly one new recruit ignored the advice and the inevitable happened (Omar part 3). She later said she had thought the guards were just jealous of her and lying about wonderful Omar. <br /><br />This final incident (more serious than previous ones) was the final straw. A short lived breakaway group formed but most people went on to other small groups. The group limped on fitfully for another year or so before settling down to a handful of men who issued the occasional press release for a further 5 years or so. I haven't heard anything for some time now.<br /><br />What happened? A group leader was reluctant to take action against a long time friend and used the pretence of police action as a cover for inaction. Because there was such a strong leader nobody else was able to act decisively. Too many were too keen on The Cause to want to disrupt the group and besides, didn't we all support free love anyhow? I confess that this reputation was part of what had made me so eager to accept W's offer of recruitment and I confess that W was in fact my first lover so I had a strong attachment to the group ideology.<br /><br />But since then I never got deeply involved in any group unless it had a diffuse structure – that is it wasn't driven by a small number of personalities and unless it had a clear policy to exclude people for poor behaviour. I found few groups and so I have been mostly inactive for the last 20 years.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-14590347740929026862011-10-03T20:16:09.310+13:002011-10-03T20:16:09.310+13:00Well obviously sexism is just a capitalist thing, ...Well obviously sexism is just a capitalist thing, ergo Good Left Men cannot be sexist, or if they are, they'll stop once the Revolution comes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-30917915951618428652011-10-03T00:05:18.277+13:002011-10-03T00:05:18.277+13:00Just saying:
Thank you for not giving up with th...Just saying: <br /><br />Thank you for not giving up with this issue. This kind of thing has been going on for years, and years, and little (if anything) changes.<br /><br />The message is clear - women (and girls) don't matter except when our issues actually affect men. So we've got to make it affect men. By not buckling under, and god knows it's really hard on the women who bravely hold the line. I was there myself in the past. Shit pours down from all directions, including, sadly, sometimes from some of the other women in the activist movements. Victim-blaming won the day when I was young, and in the end when we failed to stop it, we moved away, sadder, and with our energy and strength sapped - and consequently, our energy and strength which was also removed from the causes we were fighting for. <br /><br />In this latest example, I've been deeply disappointed in Joe Carolan and Matt McCarten. I've even come back to see if, finally, they've come here to answer for their actions and inactions, and I'm enormously disappointed that they haven't seen fit to. <br /><br />You might think you are keeping quiet, but actually you're speaking volumes. And people are listening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com