tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post5237508189502893823..comments2023-10-07T22:37:49.244+13:00Comments on The Hand Mirror: An Open Letter About Omar Hamedkatyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742280289613450293noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-14304032102959091682011-10-12T15:42:57.114+13:002011-10-12T15:42:57.114+13:00Hi,
I would like to add my thanks to the people wh...Hi,<br />I would like to add my thanks to the people who have written and circulated this letter. It is an act of courage and solidarity, thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-5105993287778676832011-10-07T00:27:05.353+13:002011-10-07T00:27:05.353+13:00Well-written. And interesting to read the comments...Well-written. And interesting to read the comments and see near identical negative reactions to ones received during a similar process in the UK. Keep fighting, xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-39998934738645016872011-10-07T00:24:09.451+13:002011-10-07T00:24:09.451+13:00I think it's sad and depressing that in Aotear...I think it's sad and depressing that in Aotearoa wimmin feel safer to interact and organize mostly with other women because the situation of abuse by cis males is so common throughout the radical movement. I worry about that much more. <br />"If you feel attacked by feminism, it's probably a counter-attack"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-30845219790704190522011-10-03T23:06:30.229+13:002011-10-03T23:06:30.229+13:00I'm with Scar here. Isn't reacting to abus...I'm with Scar here. Isn't reacting to abusive behaviour by one male-identified person by setting up a group that excludes all non female-identified people rather an over-simplistic response? Abusiveness is not limited to heterosexual, cisgendered men, after all.Andrensathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04246513936215764302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-55945154943601504072011-10-03T13:27:59.276+13:002011-10-03T13:27:59.276+13:00I always feel distinctly threatened whenever someo...I always feel distinctly threatened whenever someone uses the words 'radical' and 'all-female' in the same sentence.Scarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17840417225669820002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-24182068101163037832011-10-03T10:59:12.139+13:002011-10-03T10:59:12.139+13:00haha, i like that one of the people commenting on ...haha, i like that one of the people commenting on this saying 'yay they are challenging omar' actually did some dodgy as stuff to me behind his grilfriend's back, which still upsets me. what a loser, when i have enough courage i'll tell people, our activist scene sucks for women, we need a radical all-female-identifying exclusive group.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-52041491498538742962011-09-29T22:59:51.495+13:002011-09-29T22:59:51.495+13:00In my own experience Omar is not the only characte...In my own experience Omar is not the only character of this type to have been in activist and anarchist groups. It IS very disruptive to group harmony to discuss these issues (often because many men do not or cannot see offensive behaviour by other men - and also because some men are good company for other men, and terrible company for women). I'm pleased to see that this memo has been circulated openly and that Omar's behaviour has been discussed with him. Hiding or ignoring this kind of behaviour had caused the break-up of groups before now, and in a purely practical sense the NZ activist scene is small enough that not being inclusive is a huge fail - quite apart from activists also being able to to practice what they preach of course. <br /><br />JohnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-62047618393068079412011-09-29T21:50:59.772+13:002011-09-29T21:50:59.772+13:00I've written a blog post about the background ...I've written a blog post about the background and responses to the open letter (I'm one of the authors) in the 6 months since we first sent it out. It's up on my blog at http://anarchia.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/some-further-thoughts-on-omar-hamed-abuse-and-the-response-to-it/Asherhttp://anarchia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-69918268332428770102011-09-29T20:33:56.677+13:002011-09-29T20:33:56.677+13:00I think this is an incredibly well-written letter....I think this is an incredibly well-written letter. Will be re-posting it. Well done.notbigondignityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09037873001874127036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-30897972513098106562011-09-29T00:45:03.117+13:002011-09-29T00:45:03.117+13:00Thanks for the responses everyone.
M - I'm so...Thanks for the responses everyone.<br /><br />M - I'm so sorry for what you experienced.<br /><br />Brett - I'd like to bring your attention to the moderation note that there is no correct way to respond to sexual assault. However, I've left up your comments because they've been well dealt with.Maiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17212711843307060731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-54981743916546842252011-09-28T12:20:48.416+13:002011-09-28T12:20:48.416+13:00Kia ora Maia,
thank you again for making this let...Kia ora Maia,<br /><br />thank you again for making this letter available to those who have to work around Omar (I would also like to second all of LudditeJourno's comment).<br /><br />It is really upsetting that you still need to distribute this letter because Omar hasn't felt the need yet to stop his abusive behaviour to women. It is really upsetting that there are people who are supporting him to not get help, and are allowing him to have prominent space in organisations that are supposed to be against oppression. It is so divisive.<br /><br />I know outing creepiness is seldom a popular action, but it is brave and inspiring.<br /><br />Thank you.Kim McBreenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07472161630620747887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-6502605209537059352011-09-28T12:12:07.571+13:002011-09-28T12:12:07.571+13:00Are his actions a crime under bourgeois law, thoug...Are his actions a crime under bourgeois law, though? I'm certainly not qualified to make a judgement call either way, not being a lawyer. (Leaving aside the questionable morality of ratting out a potential comrade, highly problematic though his actions are, to the cops *again*.) In any case, its not the cops job to police Omar, so to speak, its the job of those of us on the revolutionary left.<br /><br />As for kicking him out of the groups he belongs to, those are, to my knowledge, Socialist Aotearoa and the Auckland We are the University group. Neither of which I have any influence over, being neither a member of either group nor resident in Auckland.Andrensathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04246513936215764302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-74087988851321733492011-09-28T11:23:52.990+13:002011-09-28T11:23:52.990+13:00Andrensath:
If he is committing a crime, you stil...Andrensath:<br /><br />If he is committing a crime, you still have to go to the police, at the very least you can't put others in a situation where he could prey on them.<br /><br />Judging by the post, the groups he belongs to are aware of his behavior, surly he needs to be kicked out.Brett Dalehttp://mediasportandotherrantings.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-15975451671280985292011-09-28T11:04:46.863+13:002011-09-28T11:04:46.863+13:00Thank you Maia for this - and I want to thank the ...Thank you Maia for this - and I want to thank the writers of the letter too, for so clearly articulating the ways Omar has been using alcohol to facilitate sexual violence.<br /><br />Omar, if you're reading this, or if anyone who cares about you is reading this, get some help. Your behaviour is causing harm, is making people not want to interact with you or organise with you. It's highly likely at some point it may also criminalise you.<br />There are places to go in both Wellington (Wellstop http://wellstop.org.nz/) and Auckland (Safe Network http://www.safenz.org/) where there are counsellors trained to help people stop behaving in sexually harmful ways. There is no shame is this - whereas I imagine, right now, there is much shame in having your behaviour named for the world to see.<br />Build some skills to negotiate non-abusive sexual encounters with people able to enthusiastically consent to what you both want to do.LudditeJournohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13154447284268192467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-39356533396304456722011-09-28T11:03:42.713+13:002011-09-28T11:03:42.713+13:00Brett: except that the cops have a history of acti...Brett: except that the cops have a history of acting in much worse ways than Omar has (which, of course, does not justify or excuse his actions in the slightest.) They are not the allies of anyone fighting for social justice, let alone an end to capitalism.Andrensathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04246513936215764302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-67531824002262831822011-09-28T10:51:56.145+13:002011-09-28T10:51:56.145+13:00Just Saying:
In my experience predators who behav...Just Saying:<br /><br />In my experience predators who behave as Omar is described to behave, operate on the edge of legality, with a kind of 'plausible deniability' aided and abetted by the prevailing rape culture. I'm sure many woman are able to either avoid or stand-up to creeps like this. But predators, by definition, prey on the weak and the disadvantaged. Indeed they can virtually smell it in a vulnerable female.<br /><br />Agency is then weakened with increasing violation of personal space, plying with drugs like alcohol, and not taking no for an answer. Many women can remember being successfully coerced in these kinds of ways when they were very young. Other women have been trained to submit under these kinds of circumstances by previous sexual abuse. Either way, what they want for themselves is overruled and they are unable to successfully 'resist'.<br /><br />This is a very difficult subject. There seemed to be no language to describe it when I was young, despite a whole lot of trail-blazing feminism. <br /><br />It may be that Omar's hostile defensiveness when confronted by those he has hurt, contains some real shame, and that he will come to know that exploitation in any form is morally repugnant, and will be remorseful. I don't believe these kinds of actions necessarily reflect complete moral bankrupcy. Not when rape culture is ready to jump to defend offenders and remoreselessly attack whistle-blowers, on almost every occasion, and denial is the norm, not the exception.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-35467395519556693852011-09-28T10:19:52.957+13:002011-09-28T10:19:52.957+13:00If Omar is attempting Sexual assault, surly the po...If Omar is attempting Sexual assault, surly the police must be called, and in no circumstances should he be invited to any meetings, where people would be put at risk.Brett Dalehttp://mediasportandotherrantings.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-30974020253799129492011-09-28T08:34:32.190+13:002011-09-28T08:34:32.190+13:00Shame on you!Shame on you!julzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04760491877851703188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-22404613561347423152011-09-28T01:28:23.291+13:002011-09-28T01:28:23.291+13:00Thank you very much for this: I was quite shaken a...Thank you very much for this: I was quite shaken after a night where Omar behaved like this to me, and was very confused about how he could reconcile this behaviour with his activist work. It has been interesting and uplifting to read about the efforts being made to keep people safe from him.Mnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-51713902098882615912011-09-27T23:27:26.392+13:002011-09-27T23:27:26.392+13:00Well done, sounds like a great set of policy. Soun...Well done, sounds like a great set of policy. Sounds like you very much care about human rights, as well as keeping the rights of your group safe from harm. Will be re posting.Roberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08600652252003411745noreply@blogger.com