tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post5333108267245167054..comments2023-10-07T22:37:49.244+13:00Comments on The Hand Mirror: Uncomfortable Overlapskatyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742280289613450293noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-41404860758429007332012-01-25T01:35:27.970+13:002012-01-25T01:35:27.970+13:00Thanks so much for this post. It's really int...Thanks so much for this post. It's really interesting, and I think important. <br /><br />I agree with LJ - that fighting for everyone being included is really important, but also the reasons that doesn't happen.<br /><br />I guess I have a kind of tangential thought - about 'support' as a political concept - which both relate to and possibly completely derail this conversation.<br /><br />I remember in about 2007 - when I was hearing about 'survivor centred responses' to abuse - I also heard about 'survivor centred support' and linked to this was the idea that it was politically important to give personal support to abuse survivors. The implications (as I saw it) was that relationship was based on solidarity rather than friendship. The importance of survivors support people can be seen in some discussion of radical justice which talk about the survivors support people and assumes she has some.<br /><br />Then the raids happened - and obviously that could go in many directions. But again the lines between political support and solidarity and personal support were really blury. And in the end what that meant for me is that I was in these entirely unreciprocal friendships - with people who were accepting my support, but couldn't, or wouldn't, reciprocate. And that ended as well as you'd expect.<br /><br />And I got a lot more boundaried between my idea of political support and solidarity and personal support and friendship. I now believe some sorts of support can only come through a reciprocal relationship. That relationships can't just be one way. And that political support and solidarity is a very different thing.<br /><br />The way I see this as relating to your points (you know you've gone off in a tangent when you have to say that) - is that it's another example of the messy relationship between political work and personal support - that those don't just exist in service organisations (although obviously they do exist in service organisations). And the politics around support are really complicated, and often not really thought through.<br /><br />Hope that isn't just a massive derail of my issues.Maiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17212711843307060731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-17521131708148842432012-01-24T19:17:43.270+13:002012-01-24T19:17:43.270+13:00I.M. Fletcher - it may surprise you to know that I...I.M. Fletcher - it may surprise you to know that I don't consider church groups to be from the other side and I may well know people there; there are Christians within my immediate group of friends (though I take your point that the chances of overlap are significantly lower). I know people - queer, feminist women, no less - who have got support from within religious groups they find helpful, though it depends very very much on the church in question.<br /><br />Though I don't think it (based on the little you know of me) is an unreasonable suggestion, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a church group personally. But that's not really the point; I'm not in need of services of this type now. What is is that people still feel quite legitimately excluded from services provided by the most open, welcoming churches there are, simply by reasons of faith or lack thereof. Which is why I don't think we should be looking to religious groups be the default or only option for things like that.<br /><br />"even those who don't necessarily subscribe to your way of life" - this makes me think you may not be talking about the open, welcoming brand of churches, though.antheahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05977317113072185299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-74442723068630192682012-01-24T19:09:23.784+13:002012-01-24T19:09:23.784+13:00LJ - thank you for this and for your email <3LJ - thank you for this and for your email <3antheahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05977317113072185299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-40182172844070099102012-01-24T19:03:43.467+13:002012-01-24T19:03:43.467+13:00Hmmm, you've obviously put a lot of thought an...Hmmm, you've obviously put a lot of thought and effort into this post and descriptions or groups and people you've worked with, and so I will try to make any remarks not sound to callous or flippant. <br /><br />I have to say though, have you tried a group from the "other side"? Perhaps something run by a church group? I know you'll probably greet the idea with pure horror, but you might be surprised how caring some of these people can be - even those who don't necessarily subscribe to your way of life. The groups that I'm talking about don't exist for reasons of activism. They're there to help people, and most of them do it very well. Plus, it's not like you're going to know anyone there, are you?<br /><br />I'm not trying to be smart or flippant (as I said above), but, well...it's worth a try isn't it?I.M Fletcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02221772173209860714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-24517386166637720342012-01-24T18:17:20.169+13:002012-01-24T18:17:20.169+13:00Firstly Anthea, thank you for posting on such a di...Firstly Anthea, thank you for posting on such a difficult and personal subject.<br />Secondly - I'm so, so sorry to hear you had such an awful experience in a feminist organisation. That is profoundly unacceptable.<br />Thirdly - I don't subscribe to the idea that we shouldn't criticise discriminatory behaviour within marginalised groups. How do we support say, young queer people in abusive same-sex relationships if we pretend intimate partner violence is only perpetrated within opposite sex relationships? So I'm glad you've written this, though sad and horrified you had to.<br />One of the things that makes service improvement slow in areas that trigger PTSD is the fact that it is so difficult for people using the service to name unacceptable or discriminatory treatment. That's even assuming, as you say, that those organisations have the resources (funding, trained staff, suitable premises and ways of engaging with people) to make necessary improvements - which is sadly far from the case.<br />I'm glad you've found something now that works for you.<br />Much, much respect.LudditeJournohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13154447284268192467noreply@blogger.com