tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post5625787215309829864..comments2023-10-07T22:37:49.244+13:00Comments on The Hand Mirror: I'm just not that into self help bookskatyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742280289613450293noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-54913996063007313552009-01-29T12:03:00.000+13:002009-01-29T12:03:00.000+13:00[edit for clarity] Anonymous: it's not wrong t...[edit for clarity] Anonymous: it's not wrong that some women wilfully ignore the signs in favour of making up complex excuses, etc, but I'd wager there are about as many men that have exactly the same issues. A LOT of men I knew in my 20s would hear "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now" & assume they just needed to wait around long enough. There's no way it's a one-way deal.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02964295508612243769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-20808913124309618132009-01-29T12:01:00.000+13:002009-01-29T12:01:00.000+13:00This comment has been removed by the author.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02964295508612243769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-8140389733637513082009-01-28T14:38:00.000+13:002009-01-28T14:38:00.000+13:00Maybe it's just me, but most of my het relationshi...Maybe it's just me, but most of my het relationships have involved a significant amount of her "making the first move" type stuff.<BR/><BR/>But Deborah Tannen's basic idea still rings true to me (just ignore the publisher's requirement that she write another 5 books on the same theme). Boys and girls are socialised differently, deal with it. Work to change it, sure, but right now today... it's there.<BR/><BR/>So to some extent, yes, men have a really hard time understanding that they can just say no, they don't have to "accept the compliment" that a woman likes them. That, IMO, is the underlying message.<BR/><BR/>MozAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-70959268623134090982009-01-28T13:32:00.000+13:002009-01-28T13:32:00.000+13:00I think Oprah was quite big on promoting this guy ...I think Oprah was quite big on promoting this guy and his book orginally? <BR/><BR/>It does seem to me to buy into the idea that men should be in control of relationships and women need to learn how to respond to men better. I'm sure we can all think of examples of relationships in our own circles where the stereotypes don't play out like that. And how would they compute to a same sex relationship?? Maybe self-help books for those who aren't hetero isn't a big enough market to sell to?Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08977150346842277994noreply@blogger.com