tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post8646289602949096504..comments2023-10-07T22:37:49.244+13:00Comments on The Hand Mirror: Well that's f*^#ken offensivekatyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742280289613450293noreply@blogger.comBlogger81125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-22860972920069329972009-02-05T12:05:00.000+13:002009-02-05T12:05:00.000+13:00d4j has now posted this to the Kiwiblog thread (wh...d4j has now posted this to the Kiwiblog thread (which had gone to sleep):<BR/><I>radical feminists at the Hand Mirror get laid in concrete that’s why they’re so bitter and twisted</I><BR/><BR/>Sheesh, being called bitter and twisted by d4j is a whole new world of hypocrisy! :-)Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08977150346842277994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-68421462333122841922009-02-05T01:27:00.000+13:002009-02-05T01:27:00.000+13:00"We sneer at that which we do not understand"That ..."We sneer at that which we do not understand"<BR/><BR/>That kind of explains his Eastwood personae; permanently confused, permanently sneering (with apologies to Eastwood)backin15https://www.blogger.com/profile/16526191748394549650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-56993352441418744482009-02-04T11:52:00.000+13:002009-02-04T11:52:00.000+13:00Poor old Clint - I think he may not have read the ...Poor old Clint - I think he may not have read the article properly. Either he's missed the implication that PMS causes violence against women, or he thinks it's part of the joke we're taking too seriously. I also enjoyed his completely non-ironic use of the word hysteria - bless his cotton socks. <BR/><BR/>We sneer at that which we do not understand. Including women.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076244041878300351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-64711861233354661432009-02-04T10:27:00.000+13:002009-02-04T10:27:00.000+13:00And Heine ignores the point of was making. The si...And Heine ignores the point of was making. The site itself is silly, peurile and offensive, but it was just headdesk stuff for me, until the NZ Herald chose to say that it would "save lives." That's when it got stupidly offensive, in a clunking, loutish, heavy handed way.Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14182573274494086468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-7520826998850614122009-02-04T10:23:00.000+13:002009-02-04T10:23:00.000+13:00This is one of those days when that shit just make...This is one of those days when that shit just makes me SO TIRED.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-38704374682803914202009-02-04T10:08:00.000+13:002009-02-04T10:08:00.000+13:00Heine is a tosser. death threats... does he think ...Heine is a tosser. death threats... does he think we all have PMS?Azlemedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09817866704889651040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-3513619323596876742009-02-04T08:32:00.000+13:002009-02-04T08:32:00.000+13:00i don't think guys would be too happy if it got tu...<I>i don't think guys would be too happy if it got turned around to be 'don't worry about him, he's a prick. all of the time'</I><BR/><BR/>Was it Rita Rudner who had a bit about this? Something along the lines of at least with us it's only a couple of days a month?Giovanni Tisohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10618534731338616708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-49122438554326822552009-02-04T08:21:00.000+13:002009-02-04T08:21:00.000+13:00Heine's bravery knows no bounds, he's decided to w...Heine's bravery knows no bounds, <A HREF="http://clintheine.blogspot.com/2009/02/having-sense-of-humour.html" REL="nofollow">he's decided to write about the post and the ensuing discussion, using the ol' Womenz Haz No SOH saw</A> but doesn't link to us because he doesn't want to raise our stress levels or get nasty emails (apparently he is expecting death threats). So he's paternalistic and melodramatic by turns. Wonder if it's his time of the month?Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08977150346842277994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-64707351217814729292009-02-03T17:41:00.000+13:002009-02-03T17:41:00.000+13:00argh i saw this i was gobsmacked, how absurd! i ha...argh i saw this i was gobsmacked, how absurd! i hate the 'don't worry about her, she's hormonal' culture. i don't think guys would be too happy if it got turned around to be 'don't worry about him, he's a prick. all of the time'The Reluctant Botanisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00172245699502398524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-89018426936686909332009-02-03T15:46:00.000+13:002009-02-03T15:46:00.000+13:00Anna,What do they expect these gadget obsessed mot...Anna,<BR/><BR/>What do they expect these gadget obsessed motional obtuse men to do when they find out from the big computer in the sky that their partner is premenstrual? Buy them a doohickey?<BR/><BR/>One of the things I find frustrating about how the MSM talks about PMS is that it tells men it's one size fits all. <BR/><BR/>I once told a co-worker who is a single father that for me premenstrual means weepy (and weepy about being weepy) not grumpy and he was utterly amazed. The next day told me he'd talked to his daughter about it and they were both really relieved that they now knew what was going on with her. He said that he'd been looking out for grumpy cos that's what her mother had been and it's what the telly shows.<BR/><BR/>It all seems to be setting up good hearted men to fail in every possible way. <BR/><BR/>I totally agree about being open about these things with the people close to us, which means we need good models for how to be open and clear about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-69270514794568968862009-02-03T12:41:00.000+13:002009-02-03T12:41:00.000+13:00Anita, I completely agree. There are two strands ...Anita, I completely agree. There are two strands to it: men are supposedly emotionally obtuse, and have a somewhat childlike fixation on toys and gadgets.<BR/><BR/>I've never for a moment had trouble talking with my partner about anything to do with menstruation. He takes a sort of affirmative action pride in striding to the supermarket counter with tampons, bless his heart. <BR/><BR/>I figure that reproductive health (of both partners) is pretty fundamental to a relationship - it's hard for me to imagine how a relationship would be able to function if partners felt they couldn't discuss these matters together. <BR/><BR/>If my partner had a specifically male health problem (prostate or erectile related, for the sake of argument) I'd be horrified if he felt he couldn't talk to me about it. <BR/><BR/>One of the things that annoys me so much about this article is that, by suggesting menstruation should be monitored by a web-based application, it implies that it's something couples don't or shouldn't discuss candidly.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076244041878300351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-73937365470005798032009-02-03T11:26:00.000+13:002009-02-03T11:26:00.000+13:00And now stuff has stupid comments too that are jus...And now stuff has stupid comments too that are just pathetic.. sexy underwear is not going to make me less pms ish..... totally wtf? http://www.stuff.co.nz/4836724a28.htmlAzlemedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09817866704889651040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-58872367919144832922009-02-03T11:07:00.000+13:002009-02-03T11:07:00.000+13:00Backin15 - you're quite right. Thanks for being re...<EM>Backin15 - you're quite right. Thanks for being relentlessly sane and thoughtful.</EM><BR/><BR/>Shucks. I respect the writers and writing here, it's exceptional and fosters a great environment for discussion. Congrats.backin15https://www.blogger.com/profile/16526191748394549650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-29448652452447570982009-02-03T10:39:00.000+13:002009-02-03T10:39:00.000+13:00Anna,thank you.PaulAnna,<BR/><BR/>thank you.<BR/><BR/>PaulPaulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08024440694895271805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-42033118409015000542009-02-03T10:13:00.000+13:002009-02-03T10:13:00.000+13:00Julie writes,Is there actually any research that s...Julie writes,<BR/><BR/><I>Is there actually any research that shows more domestic violence after test matches? My recollection was that there was a lot of anecdotal evidence from women's refuges, but not much more than that? Frankly there isn't enough research in these areas full stop.</I><BR/><BR/>I'm not aware of any research in NZ, but there's some from overseas. <A HREF="http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2006-10-16-report-violence_x.htm" REL="nofollow">Here</A> is a study from the UK using collated Police statistics. which includes the awesome quote<BR/><BR/><I>"This is not the fault of football — this is the fault of violent people taking any excuse to be abusive"</I>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-72409758309223339802009-02-03T09:09:00.000+13:002009-02-03T09:09:00.000+13:00One of the many things that bother me about this "...One of the many things that bother me about this "invention" is the implication that men[1] are all emotionally incompetent and need a computer to tell them how someone feels because they are unable to figure it out themselves.<BR/><BR/>IME most men are quite capable of reading their partners' moods and adapt to them. Just as most women are able to read and adapt to their partners'.<BR/><BR/>Like most people I know I'm entirely capable of even reading friends' and colleagues' moods and I don't ever live with them.<BR/><BR/>Isn't there something pretty insulting to men in here?<BR/><BR/>P.S. What everyone else said too :)<BR/><BR/>[1] I might be wrong but I doubt the inventors of this were thinking of it for female partners to use.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-80437424984235573792009-02-03T09:01:00.000+13:002009-02-03T09:01:00.000+13:00Giovanni, thanks once more for ignoring both my un...Giovanni, thanks once more for ignoring both my unwillingness to discuss this further and the explanation I've already given. <BR/><BR/>When Paul said his comment wasn't supposed to be funny, I thought he meant he was making a serious and rather misogynistic suggestion. I can't make myself much clearer than that. <BR/><BR/>I'm unsure at this point whether you're deliberately trying to be hurtful or just enjoy moralising, but either way it might be time to give it a rest.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076244041878300351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-73727347650256931902009-02-03T08:46:00.000+13:002009-02-03T08:46:00.000+13:00If you're looking for examples of bad faith, you m...<I>If you're looking for examples of bad faith, you might want to ask yourself why you're convinced my annoyance with Paul's comment wasn't genuine.</I><BR/><BR/>I've already conceded it might have been genuine at first. But if you insist to see bad intentions after you've been told by the author of the comment that there were none, it's going to be pretty difficult to sustain a conversation with you (and carry out conversations in general) around here.Giovanni Tisohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10618534731338616708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-28399169148982884632009-02-03T08:39:00.000+13:002009-02-03T08:39:00.000+13:00Paul, since I got the wrong end of the stick, I'm ...Paul, since I got the wrong end of the stick, I'm deleting the comments I made which were critical of you. Sorry once more, and good wishes.<BR/><BR/>Backin15 - you're quite right. Thanks for being relentlessly sane and thoughtful.<BR/><BR/>Giovanni, when I said I didn't want to take this conversation further, it was because I don't find weak moralising about how women should react to violence particularly helpful. If you're looking for examples of bad faith, you might want to ask yourself why you're convinced my annoyance with Paul's comment wasn't genuine. You might even consider what it's like for someone who has experienced violence, then put two and two together. While you're at it, you might like to park your high horse in the stable next to mine.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076244041878300351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-7692863321055642682009-02-03T08:26:00.000+13:002009-02-03T08:26:00.000+13:00Readers may also be interested in another male per...Readers may also be interested in <A HREF="http://monkeyswithtypewriter.blogspot.com/2009/01/pmsbuddy-chief-executive-and-founder.html" REL="nofollow">another male perspective at Monkey With Typewriter.</A> To prepare you, I warn that it is illustrated with pictures such as the little girl levitating in The Exorcist...Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08977150346842277994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-24536549593635509612009-02-03T01:01:00.000+13:002009-02-03T01:01:00.000+13:00I was certainly offended by the original story (FF...I was certainly offended by the original story (FFS - talk about buying into the contemporary version of hysteria), and even more offended by the Herald's stupid subbing, and equally stupid editorial.<BR/><BR/>But I like Anna's point - that we all get irritated and upset, by all sorts of things. And normally, what we do is try to deal with the cause of the irritation, rather than just dismiss it as "that time of the month." I hate it that people dismiss my concerns and worries with, "Oh, she's on the rag." It's incredibly patronising and belittling, and so very, very dismissive.Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14182573274494086468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-32563752715889963752009-02-02T22:51:00.000+13:002009-02-02T22:51:00.000+13:00I fear we're at risk of disagreeing over a misunde...I fear we're at risk of disagreeing over a misunderstanding. It's clear there's a lot of opportunistic misogyny being aired over this story. The website is offensive enough, the story moreso and the sexism evident in various parts of the NZ blogosphere simply proves that despite significant advances, pockets of goons still exist. Still I think a number of men from around the blogosphere agree with the original item here; this is f*^ken offensive. I don't think any of the fellas commenting here are fishing for compliments, we're just as pissed off at the behaviour as Anna, Deborah and the other authors at the Handmirror are. Cheers, from yet another Paul (backin15).backin15https://www.blogger.com/profile/16526191748394549650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-51052669512511103442009-02-02T21:55:00.000+13:002009-02-02T21:55:00.000+13:00Giovanni, suggesting women are responsible for avo...<I>Giovanni, suggesting women are responsible for avoiding being murdered is no less funny because you don't intend it as a joke.</I><BR/><BR/>Pity Paul's comment couldn't be construed like that except by assuming extreme callousness and bad faith on his part. <BR/><BR/><I>I am stunned at you telling me, as a person who has experienced sexual violence, that my reaction to a victim-blaming comment is a 'high horse' one. It is precisely because of comments like that that women in my position find it difficult to speak up. Words like 'shrill', 'hysterical' and 'irrational' - very similar to the ones used in PMS discussions - are used to dismiss what we say. I'd like to think that if our positions were reversed, I would not make as hurtful a comment to you as you have just done to me.</I><BR/><BR/>Nobody accused you of being anything until you insisted to take offence for a comment that was anything but. If you do not allow others the benefit of the doubt, and take them at their word when they say they don't mean what you're insisting they must mean, you're inflicting no insignificant amount of hurt yourself.Giovanni Tisohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10618534731338616708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-58533080337858016822009-02-02T21:49:00.000+13:002009-02-02T21:49:00.000+13:00Yes, Paul, I did confuse you with the other Paul a...Yes, Paul, I did confuse you with the other Paul and I do apologise.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076244041878300351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-61803230303202692862009-02-02T21:47:00.000+13:002009-02-02T21:47:00.000+13:00This comment has been removed by the author.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076244041878300351noreply@blogger.com