tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post8435814280319382406..comments2023-10-07T22:37:49.244+13:00Comments on The Hand Mirror: The support we choose.katyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15742280289613450293noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-13467683663490562792011-05-23T20:19:19.616+12:002011-05-23T20:19:19.616+12:00I still can't even figure out why this was eve...I still can't even figure out why this was even a story but I'm thrilled so many people have blogged about it (thanks Scube, QoT, LJ, Anthea & Julie) and expressed outrage because we have to keep a close eye on this and make sure nothing stupid happens - like the law being changed.<br /><br />Young people have a right to privacy. And it's pretty obvious that if a young person chooses not to involve their parent or guardian in health decisions that doesn't mean their parent or guardian is a 'bad' person who needs to be 'shamed' or that their parents are abusing them. <br /><br />But I have talked about the woman who talked about her daughter's abortion to a newspaper. Because I think it's shitty to do that to your daughter. I think it's shitty to be so focused on yourself when your daughter needs your support. I think it's shitty to go behind your daughter's back and talk to her friends and try to get information out of them when she has chosen not to tell you something. To me that shows a complete lack of respect and trust.<br /><br />From what I've seen the criticism of parents has been aimed at parents who view their daughters as property, don't trust them or respect them and parents who care more about themselves and their need to be filled in on every single detail of their daughter's private life than their daughter's health and safety. <br /><br />I think that kind of criticism aimed at the parents I've described is perfectly valid.<br /><br />It's tiring that throughout this entire debate people still need to be repeatedly reminded that this is actually about young people. Young people who have a right to privacy and a right to decide whether or not they want to be pregnant. The mother who contacted the paper, Family First, Bill English, Judith Collins, and all these screeching parents saying 'but what about me and my feelings?' etc - they all seem to forget it's not about them and their need to be recognised as dominant all powerful forces in the lives of young people.Boganettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07253374355820020132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-59080230796865758532011-05-23T19:21:37.442+12:002011-05-23T19:21:37.442+12:00"So while I realise that many, many young peo..."So while I realise that many, many young people struggle to find safe places and supportive people in their lives, withholding information is not necessarily a sign of dysfunction or abuse."<br /><br />I totally agree with this. It is a shame that some of the discussion around this almost sounded like it is shaming parents if their children want to seek the advice of other adults.katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15742280289613450293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770341086445997547.post-31389304841018445542011-05-23T18:32:00.187+12:002011-05-23T18:32:00.187+12:00My good idea is that we keep the young woman conce...My good idea is that we keep the young woman concerned the centre of the focus here. Not their parents.<br /><br />At the coalface our job is to support the people who seek our help the way they need us to support them. Of course we encourage young women to involve their parents. But the choice to do so or not is theirs. This is supported in law.<br /><br />And that is as it should beAmnionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10360242879866540776noreply@blogger.com