Sunday 24 September 2017

Disgruntled customer

Dear Lush,

I wish to advise you of the sub-optimal performance of your "Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair" shower gel, purchased from your online shop in the last month.  

While frequent applications have reduced the size of Winston Peters the smell has increased, and stubborn Bill English has hardly budged at all.  David Seymour persists, defying all logic.  I appreciate that Gareth Morgan has largely washed away, but that was always going to be an easy one given the recency and diminutive standing of that particular stain.

Even though it is a shower gel, I used it as a shampoo as well, to increase its potency.

I'm prepared to give your product two more weeks to prove useful.  If it has not had a meaningful impact on National's party vote by October 7th then I will be making use of your money-back guarantee, and I am prepared to pursue my rights under the Consumer Guarantees Act if necessary.

Yours sincerely


Moz in Oz said...

Maybe it needs to be applied topically?

(also, thanks for the laugh)

Terry Bellamak said...

Maybe you need to make them drink it.

DPF:TLDR said...

Did it have any effect on James Shaw?

Anonymous said...

Describing somebody as a "stain" to be "washed away" is pretty horrid language. Gareth Morgan is a person, whatever you think of his politics.

I appreciate Gareth uses equally horrific language himself but I think it would be good to rise above his practices.

Anonymous said...

It worked!