A forgotten story in the abortion debate

Cross-posted at The Ex-expat

I have mulled about whether to post on this issue due to the heated nature of the debate. Like DPF I agree that New Zealand's current laws are an ass and should be updated however the ugliness that would ensue from the debate ensures that the laws and procedures will not be modernized. At present medical abortion (non-surgical abortion) is only available at four clinics in New Zealand (Auckland Medical Aid Centre and Wellington, Masterton and Dunedin hospitals) despite being a far less invasive and traumatic procedure than the surgical option. Doctors still have the right to deny treatment which seems incredibly unfair given we still give treatment to cricketing stars who get smashed and abuse hospital staff or a drunk driver who has killed two people.

Reading through the comments on the thread that are obviously written by people with no experience of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, I feel the need to write about abortion from a slightly different perspective, someone who has had one. I do so not because I am proud of having one nor because I want to encourage others to follow my decision but because I refuse to be ashamed when I admit that I have had one and also to discuss the ramifications of some of the policies these commentators seek to emulate.

Because like all my good stories, this one starts in Asia where the local condom production is not as good as back home and I found myself pregnant. I did my best to contact the male with whom I had had a casual fling but he was not answering his phone and I was left to make the decision by myself. I was living alone in a foreign country thus did not have the means to support a single mother lifestyle nor give the baby up for adoption in a society that still frowns heavily upon non-married sexually-active women. I was also taking medication for my skin that amongst its many side-effects also causes severe fetal abnormalities thus my decision was a humane one.

However getting an abortion proved quite difficult because abortion in that country is technically illegal. My gynecologist would not perform the procedure due to the heavy fines imposed by the state. However she referred me to another clinic that did perform the procedure. After doing my research, I was confident the clinic was legit and went through with the procedure but not before coughing up over $1000US in bribes and medical fees plus a *boyfriend* to sign off on the procedure before I would be *permitted* to have one.

Looking back on the procedure I have thought about what could of happened if I didn't have the knowledge to know what I was looking for in a clinic nor the option to fly home if I couldn't find a place I trusted. It could have been something really messy, as could the option of carrying to term a baby I wasn't ready to have.

I often wonder if those who cling to the idea of adoption as the first port of call in any unplanned pregnancy realise what an immense physical and emotional trauma this is. I know that the movie Juno did a good job of celebrating the option for those who decide to go through with adoption. But if you look at the film it is obvious that the title character has a large net of people to love and support her through the tough physical and emotional process of giving a baby up for adoption. Not all of us are in the position to be able to go through with a pregnancy, the birth and giving the child up for adoption and to seek to dictate that we all should go through with pregnancy is as barbaric as forced abortion. Because despite all the popular romance attached to pregnancy, it seems to me to be an extremly stressful process on the body not to mention giving birth itself.

But just because I am pro-choice doesn't mean I am pro-abortion. I certainly don't advocate abortion as a form of birth control and I doubt any woman who has gone through with the procedure would. Despite claims to the contrary, the procedure is not easy nor pain-free. Yet given that in the early stages of a pregnancy (1st and early 2nd trimester) the fetus does not have features we would associate with a human nor could it develop them without help from the inside of the womb, this small amount of pain both to the fetus and mother outweighs the trauma of a forced pregnancy and for some who are adopted out a life-time knowing that they weren't wanted.

I strongly suspect that New Zealand's climbing abortion rate is due in part to an influx in Asian students who are predominately young and for whom abortion is a first port of birth control because they know no different. Most of my local women friends in Asia were all well educated and middle class. However none of them carried condoms nor knew how to use them because such knowledge would brand them a slut by their boyfriends. Yet they could never go through with a pregnancy in a culture where one is not considered an adult until they are married and where the importance of bloodlines ensures there a thousands of (mainly) girls languishing in orphanages.

I met a number of now-grown kids who were adopted out to families in the west in previous decades and while a number are doing great as adults, there were also a number for whom the trauma of adoption into a foreign culture has created very sad, lonely and angry individuals.

As for the long-term effects of abortion, in my case it has been very little. The only time I get particularly angry or upset about it is when dealing with people who seek to label my bedroom antics or judge my decision as akin to murder. I know a lot of hoopla has been made of research that shows that women who go through with them do suffer from a higher rate of depression. Which maybe the case, however a strike against abortion is not necessarily a point scored for adoption nor motherhood. Just a reflection that an unplanned pregnancy really sucks when the circumstances are not right.