Thursday, 6 February 2014
How Savemart changed my life
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
So how does your lady garden grow?
This post is explicit, and links to pages which feature explicit photographs. Feel free to look away.
I admit to a passing interest in fashion trends. Well ok, maybe that’s exaggerating my interest. So this may not be breaking news, but I’ve been thinking about it since chatting with a lesbian friend 14 years younger than I am.
We were talking about our bodies, and how we felt about them, and she said she shaved all her pubic hair. I asked her how her lovers felt about this, and she looked shocked and said “they all have too, of course.” When I told her I have never slept with a woman who shaves all her pubic hair, she looked shocked again.
Now most of her lovers have been her age or younger, mixed racially, not identifying as feminist.
Nearly all of my female lovers have been my age or older, mixed racially, identifying as feminists (what can I say, women who love women and don’t like gender oppression, *sexy*).
So there’s a generation gap going on here, and possibly a different analysis about how women look after our beautiful bits between feminists and non-feminists.
Before anyone assumes I’m saying “feminists can’t shave their pubic hair”, let me clarify. Growing pubic hair is one of the changes our bodies go through when we move from childhood to adulthood, and I don’t know about you, but I love being an adult woman. Which includes, for me, loving pubic hair.
A couple of years ago in Wellington’s Comedy Fest, the only humour in common from all the wonderful female comics I went to see were “jokes” about their pubic hair being revolting. This is the bit that is anti-feminist as far as I’m concerned – cultural norms which tell us our ordinary bodies are disgusting and a return to a pre-adult look for our genitals is a must. But our bodies, including our pubic hair? Ours to do what we wish with, of course. Kinda a baseline for feminism.
Quite where our wishes come from of course is another matter. Pubic hair fashion, like all fashion, has changed over the years and most agree that Penthouse featuring shaved genitalia in 1970 kicked off a cosmic shift in hair removal.
90s porn culture targeted a new area of hair growth on women and deemed it unattractive and unacceptable. In fact, trimmed, shaped or completely removed pubic hair has become normative. It is difficult many to remember the previous aesthetic, an aesthetic that did not require a woman’s vulva to be shaved, waxed or shorn to be considered “attractive” or desirable.
The “attractive” thing is clearly not just heterosexual in gaze, as evidenced by my friend. It’s also strongly aged. One national survey in the US found that 38% of women aged 18-44 cf 3% women aged 55 and older believe most men prefer a manicured look to their pubes. And what men want is definitely part of selling the package of pubic maintenance to women:
Most women place a good deal of focus on their pubic hair not only for themselves but for their partners as well. In fact, many women are willing to indulge their partners when it comes to pubic hair styles. Why not?In a recent study:48% of men preferred their women to get rid of it all.29% of men said they preferred their women to be natural — that being trim and neat but not bare.
16% of men wanted their women to have a little tuft of hair or a patch — would that be a ‘soul’ patch, boys?
The rates of “heterosexually active men” who answered this small online survey were similarly clear about preferring little or no pubic hair, and the reasons for their preference:
Making oral sex “better”? I guess I have nothing to compare it with, but I’m not really sure how much “better” giving oral sex could get to be brutally honest. One in four men surveyed liking the woman they are having sex with to look younger or virginal while they are having sex with them? Just creepy.
Monday, 16 May 2011
International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO) Round-up

Bloggage:
Amanda at Pickled Think: IDAHO: International Day Against... Hate of (all types)
Julie at The Hand Mirror: IDAHO: Trying to do
C Connoisseur at missingsparkles: International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia
Scuba Nurse at The Hand Mirror: I'm not just a vagina who likes men (cross-posted at Well-behaved women...)
Lena shares her great t-shirt at In My Head
Octavia at her Spitfire Emporium: Safe places for cis women
QoT at Ideologically Impure: No refuge for some in IDAHO
Dougal at Nae Hauf-Way Hoose: Shinjuku Boys
Let me know if I've missed anything by adding it in comments :-)
Sunday, 15 May 2011
IDAHO T shirt competition at UOA Tuesday 17th
IDAHO T Shirt Competition at UOA Facebook Event Page:
The 17th May is IDAHO, International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.
Some awesome people down south have started a competition where they ask you to create a T-shirt with a slogan against homophobia and transphobia, take a photo of you wearing said T-shirt on Tuesday and put a photo up on the interwebs to show them
We though we'd join in at Auckland Uni so we'll have a stall set up on Tuesday with Fabric Writing Pens and all you need to do is bring along yourself, a white/pale T-shirt and your brilliant ideas. For those who don't hear about it till the day we'll also have pieces of material that they can decorate and safety pin to their tops.
We will have some small but very awesome prizes on the day.
There is also a screening at the Human Rights Commision organised by Rainbow Youth, UniQ and HRC in the evening.
It really warms my heart everytime I see some great new initiative from younger feminists (by which I mean younger than me!) like the stuff Campus Feminist Collective and WYFC are up to.
And there is also the page about the T-shirts. Please do not feed the trolls.
You can find out more about IDAHO in Aotearoa New Zealand here.
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Bob McCoskrie missing the point of Slut Walk when he says Slut Walk is missing the point

'Family First's Bob McCoskrie supports the protestors' message, but thinks the rally's shock-value title is taking away from the real issue.
' "I think their cause is a completely justified one," he told Newstalk ZB. "I'd just like them to do it in a family friendly way so that the message gets across rather than with a negative connotation."
'Bob McCoskrie says the way women dress is irrelevant, as there's no justification for rape.'
Slut Walk by its very nature rejects the notion that the way women (or indeed men) dress is relevant. It's been very clear to me, from all that I've read and seen about Slut Walk, that the idea is that you come along to walk in solidarity on the issue, and that what you wear on the Slut Walk itself is irrelevant too. If you want to dress in a revealing manner that would disconcert Mr McCoskrie then you can do so, and you should feel safe. Equally if you want to wear full burka, or a demure Victorian outfit buttoned up to the neck with full-length sleeves, a skirt down to your ankles and no waist, or a sweatshirt and jeans, you will be welcome.
*
Saturday, 14 August 2010
I see your pro-choice t-shirt
and I raise you a pro-choice Onesie:
Found via a friend's Facebook feed. Sorry I can't remember whose!
Friday, 9 July 2010
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
ANTM breaking news: filming in NZ this week
Several episodes of the next season of America's Next Top Model will be filmed in New Zealand, host and former top model Tyra Banks confirmed on Twitter this morning.Click through for the whole thing.
"Rumours are true & U R 1st to know. Top Model is goin to NEW ZEALAND for cycle 14! Can't wait to get there. Are y'all excited for next cycle?," Banks' verified Twitter account said.
...Hindin Miller said Banks was due to fly to New Zealand this week and would be joined by the show's new judge, American Vogue editor-at-large Andre Leon Talley.
Filming would begin on Thursday or Friday this week, in locations including Queenstown and Auckland, he said...
I thought this might be a good way to kick off a bit of a discussion about why people watch ANTM so fervently, despite the fact that on the face of it the show should be verboten to feminists. For me I think a lot of it is about Tyra and how she always manages to make it about herself, no matter what, which is kind of like a metaphor for the modern Fashion Machine.
What do you think?
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Monday, 12 October 2009
Quick hit: Gee, why doesn't Lagerfeld just tell us what he really thinks?
German designer Karl Lagerfeld has waded into the debate on too-thin models, telling a German publication that no one wants to look at chubby women on the runway.Click through for the rest.
His comments come a week after popular German women's magazine Brigitte announced it would no longer use professional models for its photo shoots.
"Fat mummies sit there in front of the television with their chip packets and say skinny models are ugly," Lagerfeld told Focus magazine in an interview published yesterday.
The world of beautiful clothes was ultimately about "dreams and illusions", he added, and no one really wanted to see overweight women.
I guess I'm confused about what Mr Lagerfeld considers "overweight."
Also I prefer popcorn to chips, but otherwise, yep I'm all about the sitting in front of telly calling skinny people ugly. It's my preferred leisure activity. /sarcasm
Friday, 2 October 2009
Quick hit: Masculinity to join feminity as an Olympic sport?
The Independent's Liz Hoggard on the pressures facing Hollywood's new-look male stars...Click through for the whole thing. Because it's worth it.
A friend has just had dental surgery. They put her on morphine.
"What does it make you feel like?" I ask.
"Normal," she tells me brutally.
"For the first time ever, my body didn't feel out of control. I didn't worry about my stomach, my legs didn't feel like giant Alice in Wonderland limbs."
So excuse me if I don't worry too much about the crisis in male beauty. Women have been feeling alienated from their bodies for centuries. No wonder we have to be medicated to feel normal.
At the weekend, the story broke that male actors were suffering. The rugged look is out as Hollywood signs up young pretty-boys (Twilight's Rob Pattinson, baby-faced Ed Westwick and cherub-cheeked Chace Crawford in Gossip Girl).
...It gets worse: movie directors admit that these boys with the faces of adolescent girls are perfect fodder - they can replace one with another with barely a pause for thought.
I had to laugh out loud when I read that one. As women we've lived through decades of identikit blonde women. I hate the fact that there are 14-year-old girls pretending to be 30 on my magazine covers - who weigh less than my hanging rail.
Because increasingly, femininity is a performance art. It's not enough any more just to brush your hair and wear a nice frock, there's a whole new bag of tricks.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Quick hit: Sensible shoes a safety issue?
There is a heated debate going on in the UK about, of all things, whether women should have the right to wear comfortable shoes in the workplace.Click through for the whole thing, and a link to the report mentioned.
According to this report by Reuters, the Society of Chiropodists and Podiatrists passed a motion asking employers to work in partnership with trade unions, staff, and local Health and Safety representatives to ensure that proper risk assessments are carried out, and where high heels are deemed a health risk, replaced with comfortable shoes.
... The issue was purely about giving women in certain industries the right to say no to high heels in jobs where they are on their feet for a long time. Feet bear the brunt of daily life, and for many workers, prolonged standing, badly fitted footwear and high heels can be a hazard in the workplace, the Society said. It pointed out that wearing high heels can cause long term foot problems, such as serious foot, knee and back pain, and damaged joints.
The Times reported that Conservative Member of Parliament Nadine Dorries tore into the motion, saying it was intended to cut women like her down to size.
"My job is male-dominated, and the men I work with have killer instincts," the newspaper reported her as saying. "I am 5ft 3in and need to wear high heels," she said...
Quite interesting how the UK media, and the politician quoted above, have leapt to the conclusion that suggestions that women be given choices about whether or not they have to wear high heels in the workplace is somehow actually restricting their choices...
Sunday, 20 September 2009
Because what you wear is all about him
Found at Spare Room.
When I was pregnant I was quite wistful about Hot Milk, which I couldn't afford, but now I'm feeling like it was a lucky escape if it can make you so baby-brained and clumsy and fixated on turning on a man that you break valued possessions.
PS I'll be away all this week for work so might not get much posting done, apologies in advance!
Friday, 18 September 2009
Quick hit: Doesn't just sound sexist, Viva
Do you secretly long to appear in the social pages? [ah, no] Do you dream of having your photograph and name included with all the usual A-list types in the Sunday papers? [hmmm, if you put it that way... still no] Well, by following these six simple steps we reckon you can improve your chances of being successfully snapped tenfold. [oh goodie! Not]Click through for the whole thing, if you can be bothered.
1. Presentation
It goes without saying that smart clothes, glossy hair, some makeup and a bit of bling are pretty much party essentials. But a few cunning tricks will help keep you ahead of the pack. Plenty of bare skin is always a winner, so try to have a decent amount on show. Now, we're not specifically talking cleavage although that clearly never goes amiss [not even in a society which devoted column inches to the PM wearing trousers to meet the Queen]. Bare shoulders, bare arms, bare anything, in fact, are more visually interesting than bodies shrouded in light-absorbing black jackets...
...4. Partner
Leave the husband at home [gosh I'm glad you added that or I never would have thought that the intended audience of this article was hetero-females-only! /sarcasm] and take a girlfriend instead. It may sound sexist but two (or more) women wearing colour and showing skin will always look more attractive on the society pages than a dime-a-dozen conventional couple - one of whom will be in a predictable corporate suit.
Monday, 24 August 2009
Quick hit: Modelling gets unionised
Two Australian models working in London are about to set up the industry's first code of conduct to protect models from exploitation by agents and photographers.Click through for the whole article.
Victoria Keon-Cohen and Dunja Knezevic campaigned for London's Equity union in 2007 and since then have represented models who have been cheated out of money, physically hurt on photo shoots and subjected to sexual harassment by photographers.
The women, who between them have modelled for Versace, Levi's, Vogue and Marks & Spencer, say they hope to change the culture in an industry where models are treated as expendable.
...The models have enlisted the support of their agency, IMG, one of the world's biggest, for the new code.
The two are also negotiating about the code with the British Fashion Council and the Association of Modelling Agencies.
Some of the stories of cases they have dealt with are really sucky.
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Fashion Schmashion
Shopping isn't much fun for me. I find shops claustrophobic (particularly when I have fractious small children with me), and they tend to remind me that I don't have much money. It was even worse when I was overweight - going to the shops just reinforced that I was poor and fat. What a barrel of laughs that was.
In the last couple of years, my late-to-arrive environmental commitment has led me to buy secondhand goods as much as I can - particularly clothing. (A limited budget makes my green principles far easier to uphold.) My kids are still a little too young to have succumbed to sartorial peer pressure, so they don't mind. And I actively enjoy it: I've spent many a happy hour browsing Trade Me or op shops. Down the road from my house is a small tailor's shop - the woman there will alter the garments I pick up for myself for a very low price. It all gives me a righteous glow of thrift, community belonging and environmental harmony.
How do other THMers interact with the world of fashion? And do you have any recession-friendly fashion tips?
Sunday, 22 March 2009
To pierce or not to pierce?
I remember feeling exactly the same way - that everyone else had their ears pierced but me - and I wore my parents down with a sustained campaign of nagging. Eventually, when I was ten, they gave in. I was so excited and overwhelmed by my entrance into the world of fashion that, shortly after the piercing, I fainted in a sorry heap on the street!
My daughter and I discussed the pros and cons of piercing. I said solemnly, 'You know, once you've got holes in your ears, they stay there for good'. She pondered this and replied thoughtfully, 'I can't think of any reason why I'd need intact ears'.
I don't even know why this bothers me. My life hasn't been blighted by the presence of a small hole in each ear. I enjoy wearing earrings. But this seems like the first of a lifetime of little bodily modifications a woman makes because she's not good enough as nature made her. I don't think my daughter's starting down a slippery slope that will end in yoyo dieting and boob jobs. I just wish she saw herself as I do: perfect the way she is.
Sunday, 8 March 2009
Dora's new silhouette announced
But the change is still coming, and this week Mattel published the silhouette of the new and, ah, improved, Dora.
Creators of Dora the Explorer, a favorite character among preschoolers that teaches kids English and Spanish, say they are just making her move with the times.Click through for the whole article.The tweenage Dora will live in the big city, attend middle school and have a new wardrobe and accessories.
"For nearly ten years, Dora the Explorer has had such a strong following among preschoolers, catapulting it into the number one preschool show on commercial television," said Gina Sirard, Mattel's vice president of marketing.
"Girls really identify with Dora and we knew that girls would love to have their friend Dora grow up with them, and experience the new things that they were going through themselves.
"The brand captures girls' existing love of Dora and marries it with the fashion doll play and online experiences older girls enjoy."
Critics say they would prefer Dora to grow up true to the character she is as a child.
"If the Dora we knew grew up, she wouldn't be a fashion icon or a shopaholic. She'd develop her map reading skills and imagine the places she could go," the petition says.
"It's such a sell out of Dora, of all girls."
The petition mentioned in the article can be found here. The letter to Mattel and Nickelodeon heads which the petition organisers are asking people to sign begins:
Dear Mr. Eckert and Ms. Zarghami,Wriggly's not old enough for Dora yet, but I was looking forward to introducing them in due course. Now I'm not so sure.
Don’t give Dora a tween makeover. She is beloved by little girls and boys everywhere for her adventuresome spirit, curiosity, and bravery. If she is to grow up in doll form, please keep her true to herself rather than follow in the footsteps of the makers of Strawberry Shortcake, Holly Hobby, and Trollz. We don’t need any more tween dolls teaching girls that growing up means turning into a fashionista, excited about secrets and crushes and going shopping. We don’t need dolls that replicate the thin ideal. The APA Sexualization of Girls Task Force report shows that teens only rarely achieve this body type and when they don’t they are vulnerable to depression and body image problems. Please don’t push this version of what it means to be a teenager on young girls. It limits them, narrows their options, and leads them to think that what matters most about themselves is how they look and what they buy.
The new Dora is planned to come out in the American fall, so I guess about September. Here's the before and after:


Depressing? I think so.
Grass-stained baseball cap tipped to Tamar who emailed me about this via Facebook.
Friday, 6 March 2009
Quick hit: Miss Universe NZ regionals coming back to Wellington
The sight of drunken teenage girls wandering city streets has inspired promoter Glenn London to revive the Miss Universe New Zealand regional competition in Wellington.Click through for the whole thing.
"It's about bringing back some charm and elegance to young Wellington women, providing a bit of glitz and glamour and going to a nice social occasion rather than wandering the streets at all hours.
"If you go down the middle of Wellington on a Saturday night and look at the young women you think, 'Oh no.'
"I have two teenage daughters myself and would like to see it become an iconic event in the capital it is a lot better than bikini competitions in pubs," said Mr London, who plans to stage the pageant at Wellington Town Hall in October.
The wordz; I haz not got dem thiz mornin.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Quick hit: NZ's Next Top Model a set-up? Quelle surprise!
Fashion industry insiders have branded New Zealand's Next Top Model a sham after it emerged at least two finalists were catwalk professionals.Application forms said contestants were not eligible for the TV3 reality show if they had modelled in "a national campaign within the last five years".
They also said any girl who made it on to the show had to cancel existing agency contracts.
TV3's website went further - describing the show as a chance for the winner to "launch herself into the world of professional modelling".
But two of the final 13 - Ajoh Chol and Rebecca Rose Harvey were represented by agencies when they auditioned.
Click through for the whole article.
The series starts on our screens on March 13th, presumably filling the slot of America's Next Top Model on Friday nights. Anna has started up a thread to discuss the most recent episode of ANTM (and Project Runway if you follow that too).