Fucking hell here we go again.
A team of rugby players harass a female flight attendant and sure enough, the incident is retold in the media as players indulging in hi-jinks or flirtation and the uptight bitch flight attendant has overreacted to just one little phrase, I like the way you walk.
Sit down with ex-expat as she vainly tries to explain why if you think that women should in any way have to put up with or even worse think that this sort of behaviour is a misguided attempt at flattery, you're a dumb ass.
First up it's not up to you, me or anyone to dictate the difference between flirtation and harassment because it is entirely subjective. However in order to avoid being on the wrong side of this fuzzy line, you need to stop making the assumption that a woman should be flattered by your behavior because she wants to have sex with you. I am sorry to break it you, but unless you are a Brad Pitt, you are probably going to have to put some effort into convincing a woman that you are the type of guy she wants to sleep with. And no, making comments about her physical appearance in her place of work is probably not a good way to go about it. At best it is likely to make her slightly embarrassed, at worst she's going to be pissed off. Neither of these outcomes are going to get you laid. Given that you are invading her space, it might be best to err on the side of being polite.
And how might you be polite?
Well first you need to stop using your buddies for moral support if you wish to sleep with a woman you've just met. Making an approach to a women in packs isn’t flattering. In fact, it’s threatening. Being approached by a group of strangers rather than one lone stranger is always far more intimidating prospect. Being suddenly outnumbered by people you don’t know well enough to trust gets your guard up, why the hell would you think that someone who is feeling threatened is going to give up her cellphone number?
Oh that's right, you didn't bother to think about that because you were too busy trying to one-up your mates to stop and think about her feelings. Because lets be honest, more often than not catcalling women is a way men socialize with each other. You’re trying to impress your mates with who can say the most outrageous things, who can get a smile, a glance or even a cellphone number from a passing women. The woman is just part of the scenery, so it’s no surprise at this point you’re oblivious to her feelings or the 'back off buddy' verbal and non-verbal signals she's been giving off to your so-called harmless fun.
Because my friend, it ain't what you do but the way that you do it. Sure in this case there was no overtly sexual comments made, but the secret to flirting is that it is a two-way street. You need to listen and paying attention to the signals the person you’re talking to gives off in response to you. This is something everyone has to do in flirting, yes even women. Is she establishing eye contact with you when you speak to her? Is she smiling? Is her body facing towards to you? Another words does she look like she is enjoying your company? Because right now you are a strange man invading her space in much the same manner as a charity collector on the street, salesperson in a store or if you are really pissing her off, an evangelical Christian all people you liked to be approached by when you are going about day right? Nope didn't think so.