like julie, my apologies for being a slack poster over the last month or so. part of it has been due to a lovely holiday in the far north, and part due to other pressures. details of both are on my own blog, so i won't bore you all with it here.
one thing that i came across during the holidays is a case where the 2-year separation period before being able to obtain a divorce is causing quite some strife for a woman who is quite keen to cut off all ties with her husband. she caught said husband cheating on her, which on top of some other rather nasty offences (not involving violence, but not nice) convinced her that she wanted nothing more to do with this guy.
i know that the 2-year separation thing is supposed to allow time for couples to reconcile, but two whole years? and what about in this case, where you are absolutely sure you're never going to trust the lying, cheating bastard again, what exactly is the point? surely we can treat adults as being able to make up their own mind and know their own wishes. if they've decided the relationship is over, they shouldn't have to go through such a drawn out process.
and if they do happen to reconcile at a later date, there's nothing to prevent the two of them remarrying, so it just doesn't make sense to me. the woman asked me if there was any way around this, any way that she could get an immediate divorce. i don't know that there is. meanwhile, her spouse is taking the time to phone all of her family friends, begging them to put pressure on her and her family to get her to come back. along with big sob stories about how badly HE has been treated. grrrr. on top of this are the calls from his family to her family and so on. the husband's attitude is that he has 2 years to try to get her back, and is able to use pretty much any and all means to do so. what she wants doesn't apparently have any room in his view of the world.
it's awful when break-ups go badly, and ex-expat's example is another one (a true hero you are for the way you cope with this situation and for the energy you are putting into the Child). i have another friend who has had to deal with all kinds of harassment, including a false accusation that her new partner had molested her daughter and endless drawn out court cases over property settlement. again, she had to wait out the 2-year period before she could remarry, for no good reason that i can see.
i remember another example of a woman having her husband come home and tell her he was leaving to go and live with someone else. he packed his bags and off he went. does anyone really think that some kind of reconciliation is going to happen in this case?
so, is it time for a law change? i'd be interested in hearing what other people think.