Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Fifty-seven winning ways

The Saudi Gazette brings us 57 ways to win your husband's love, including these gems:
1. Behave like a female, i.e. with all the tenderness of a female.
16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, find some jokes on the internet.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a housewife, take online classes and be active in your community. This will not only make you happy but will impress your husband too.
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter than him.
36. Be fit and take care of your health; you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
47. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies (bowling?). Try not to go shopping too much and spend all his money.
The article is written from an Islamic point of view, but all of the above points struck me as ones I have heard or read made without reference to Allah or indeed religion at all sometimes. In my experience it's often more subtle, like the men at the table getting larger portions or the unburnt chops, but not always. I have quite recently heard a woman of my acquaintance criticise a family member for not helping her with some pretty heavy outside work because she was pregnant, but the man who also didn't help was not to be criticised at all.

These points struck me as pretty good advice:
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
52. If you are not satisfied intimately, talk to him and help him. Don’t wait till matters become worse.
The article inspired this comment:
Yesterday I had delegation from all of New Zealand Universities visiting the Kingdom. The article was so impressive and everyone liked it. We had chat on all listed 57 ways of winning your husband's love. Every one requested copy to give it to his wife when he got back to New Zealand. Thanks [my emphasis added]
How's that going for them then?

Black leather cap tipped to reader B who emailed me with this one.


Anna said...

Finding internet jokes is probably the most dubious marital advice I've ever heard. I'm going to try it and report back.

A Nonny Moose said...

That's like the "Good Housekeeping" list that does the rounds on occasion.

The unburnt chops comment: I remember a scene from ...oh what was it..."Popular" that's right - dumb teenage LA based show, where dad married the mom of unpopular girl's mortal enemy at high school. Mom always served husband and biological daugheter the biggest chop, and it wasn't until Ms Unpopular had done something to prove her sufficient familial duty to her sister/step mom that she got the bigger chop.

Joke in our house:
Mr Moose: "Slippers and Pipe?"
Mrs Moose: "Get your own f***ing slippers and pipe!"

katy said...

"Finding internet jokes is probably the most dubious marital advice I've ever heard. I'm going to try it and report back."

Somehow this is the one that struck me too. Telling jokes is fatal in our household because it takes about 45 minutes to explain why something is funny to my ESL husband.

SMSD said...

The one that struck me was the suggestion of having a race. I think I'd be a little bit puzzled if my partner suggested having a race. Unless we were racing to get the remote control.

Anonymous said...

did anyone read the original article? or indeed the 81 ways to win your wife's love? having done this, i wouldn't have necessarily tagged it under 'stupid sexists' but under the gender dynamics of another country...