Thursday, 27 August 2009

A time and a place...

First of all a big thank you for all your nice comments in my last post.

I got back to New Zealand very late on Monday night and my wonderful midwife had already gotten the early pregnancy unit to call me first thing Tuesday and had my D&C today. I know that miscarriage is a 'natural process' but quite frankly I couldn't contemplate waiting days or even weeks for my body to expel the womb contents when all I really want to do is to get on with my life.

So this morning off I went to Greenlane for the final stage of this pregnancy.
Unfortunately just as I was about to enter the centre, I came into contact with a man with placards reading 'thanks mum' with pictures of a little fetus on them and a phone number for pregnancy counselling services.

Fortunately I was most definitely in the 'anger' stage of the grieving process. I was livid that this man probably hadn't even considered in his rush to save the 'unborn' that there might be women walking into Greenlane with very much wanted but non-viable babies in our tummies who didn't need yet another reminder that our pregnancy had failed

And boy did I let him know.

I don't think I have ever experienced the kind of violent rage before in my life. I could literally see flashes of white as I sucked in air between screams.

Rather than feeling upset afterwards I felt oddly at peace. The anger at the injustice of why my pregnancy ended while other people more undeserving people get to keep their babies had been welling up inside for days. The Suit had experienced some of it but that placard holder was a giant fucking lightening rod for all my rage and quite frankly I can't think of more deserving target.

And it's not just because I disagree with his views.

It's because there's a time and place for everything even political debate. It is a mark of a civilized society that everyone, especially the people you might disagree with, deserves a bit of dignity in times of distress. I'd like to think my outburst might make this group stop and re-think their tactics but somehow I doubt it. Clearly their compassion only extends to those babies who could be born rather than the ones who never will. And as for the women who for one reason or another won't be giving birth, our humanity just doesn't matter.

P.S I could totally see why Michael Jackson could get hooked on the drugs they use for general anesthetic. Oh boy did I feel like I could fly like a fairy after waking up although that might have been from the huge amount of blood I lost afterwards.


Nikki said...

Again sorry that you had to go through this sweet!

Hate to say this but I may have smiled at you letting fly at the dude. I've considered doing the same to the one that sits at Wellington hospital.


harvestbird said...

Are terminations also performed at the same location, or had the dreadful protester got completely the wrong shop? Either way, I can't say I think his behaviour is acceptable.

The same procedures in Christchurch are done in the day surgery of the women's hospital. On the day I was there, the waiting room also had the overflow of people waiting for other day procedures. There was a whole wall of people waiting for what I presume was cataract surgery, all of whom had a marker-pen X above one or other eye.

I wish you all the best in your recovery and the weeks and months that follow.

The ex-expat said...

Harvest bird, Greenlane has a whole bunch of out-paitent services on site. Not just women's health.

I actually had my procedure done at a small private clinic on the public which was nice.

Boganette said...

Ugh what a fucking scumbag. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad letting out the rage gave you some peace. Still you shouldn't have been confronted with that bullshit. It makes me so angry. I'm not a violent person but dude needs a kick in the balls.

I totally agree there's a time and a place. It reminds me of those freaks who protest at funerals in the US.

A Nonny Moose said...

Mental vibes coming your way for what you've had to go through.

Applause for taking on the douchebag. When I read about the picketing, verbal abuse and violence that goes on at American abortion clinics, I've have this little ball of grrr building up inside. I swear I'd do the same if I ever saw similar here in NZ.

Thank you for doing it for all of us.

And as the others have said - it's just not right to be picketing in a public place without any thought for people there for other medical proceedures or women there for other pregnancy issues.

Care to share what the douchebag did/say in response?

octopusgrrl said...

I used to bus past that guy almost every day and unfortunately could only ever channel my frustrated rage into evil glares, so I'm really glad you were able to go off at him "with great vengeance and furious anger"! It infuriates me that he's allowed to do this, it's so unfair and upsetting to confront women where they're bound to be at their lowest emotional ebb :(((

Azlemed said...

I am so glad you let rip at that fella... sounds like he totally deserved it.

I had to go to gynae clinic 4 times after my loss.. was horrid sitting there with all these hugely pregnant women waiting to see the ob/gyn team.

I had to go back there last week to see and ob and I felt very self conscious and really hoped that none of the women there had been through a loss and were having to sit there with us of huge tummies.