Hi XXXXX,Yuck, yuck, yuck. Haven't watched the video as I'm at work, but if any reader wants to explain what's in it please do so after the beep (i.e. in comments).
Happy New Year people and I hope yours was as memorable as mine, which must have been particularly memorable as I can’t remember any of it other then waking up in a tent with a bunch of mates who I hadn’t seen for 9 years.
And let me tell you there is no greater joy than seeing people you haven’t seen in ages and realising that you have aged better than all of them. It was a lovely way to start the year, particularly as I hadn’t made any resolutions involving personal vanity. [J: Wait, what are you selling me again? Wasn't it plane tickets? So why would I care about any of this?]
Grabaseat is kicking off the New Year with a promotion for cougars. It’s my boss Duane’s idea and he’s given me a special blurb about it to send out. He wrote it himself. It’s quite good. [No, it's a sexist piece of crap, but please don't let that stop you sending it out and spreading your misogyny around]
JOIN THE GRABASEAT COUGAR PRIDE AT THE SEVENS
Cougars are women 35 and over who prefer their meat rare. [Actually cougars are a member of the cat family, and thus only distantly related to Homo sapiens, although you are no doubt correct about the rare meat, seeing as how cooking facilities are difficult when you lack opposable thumbs.] Their prey are at least 10 years their junior. [Really? Is there a rule book or something?] Grabaseat is looking for 60 of these exquisite creatures to join them at the sold out NZI Sevens in Wellington as our pride of cougar cheerleaders. [Oh joy, so this is about getting free cheerleaders then?]
All you have to do is register and upload a photo of your hunting pack (no more than 4 cougars) to be in to win tickets to the NZI Sevens. You and your pack will need to make your own way to Wellington [irony much?] and if you plan on sleeping you will need to find your own den. [Oh this hilarious lion metaphor is a source of boundless puntastic fun. Not.]
Grabaseat will be giving the winners cougar costumes [Any guesses what they will look like? I'm guessing they will feature leopard skin and not much of it] and the equipment to make enough noise to attract the attention of young males [To be the "prey", I suppose]. And to make sure the pride doesn’t go hungry, 10 brave young men recruited by ZM will be thrown in as fresh meat to the winners in Wellington. [Now that's just awful.]
So if you’re more roar than meow, check out our video about the mating habits of cougars and sign up here.
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
at 11:28 am by Julie
Thanks to a reader who sent this through, here's the text of an email Air NZ has been sending out to promote Grabaseat: