Tuesday, 17 May 2011

I'm not just a vagina who likes men.

Cross posted from Well behaved women rarely make history

My name is Scuba. Danger. Nurse. – yes my middle name is danger. I am THAT awesome!!
I was born with a fully formed vagina.
As a child I self identified as female with occasional yearnings to be a boy, when I realised I couldn’t climb trees that well.
As an adolescent I developed late at around 16, with acceptable female hormone levels and a socially acceptable female mammarys.
I became attracted to men once the hormones kicked in. Previous to that they were there to take me for bike rides and make dinner (dad) or fight (every other boy).
I occasionally feel that being a lesbian would be an acceptable choice for me when I see a petite masculine featured woman, but don’t really feel like the sex stuff with them, which makes it all a bit half hearted really.
I am in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and if the cysts on my ovaries are not an impediment I would like to one day become a mother by means of sexual male-female reproduction.

Are you confused about why I shared all of this?
It all seems a bit freaking pointless really, since it tells you exactly jack about who I actually am.
It tells you nothing about my hopes, dreams, personality, ethics, morals, lifestyle, and sense of humour, strengths or weaknesses (unless you count climbing trees).

So why do people who are Gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans have to explain every facet of their lives?
Why, when someone comes out as Trans, do people feel an explanation is due as to what “level/stage” they are at?
Why do people feel that if someone is not straight, they can quiz someone on when, where, how and what they like as if they should validate what they feel?

People are people, no matter who they love, and what their junk is.
Let people tell you who they are, in their way, on their terms.
Find out the usual way, by leering at strangers in bars, and comparing notes on your favourite films.
Because my vagina and sexuality tell you zilch about which film stars turn me on, and whether I want kids or can have them, or what I want to do with my life.

Judge people by the sum of their parts. Not their parts, or who they bump parts with.
(sorry had to do it!)


goodgravey said...

Great post Scube.

I know where you are coming from. Growing up, I always liked girls, but I also never was very boyish.

At high school, I had very few friends, but there was on mate I had who I started to wonder whether my feelings were running deeper. I was really upset when he left school to join the Navy.

More recently, I can quite happily admit to gasping with a slight pitter-pat at the scene in Casino Royale where Daniel Craig comes out of the sea.

We all exist on a continuum of sexuality, and our position on it changes from time to time. Where we are, to what extent we fit into the typical model of a gender, is just so incredibly irrelevant.

Took me a long time to understand my own sexuality (being a virgin until my early 30s probably didn't help all that much).

It would be a much more wonderful world if we put as much energy into just loving people as we put into questioning who we love and why, and which bits we like.

Captcha: mantappe

Amanda said...

Dammit Gravy, you get the best captchas!

"You're the sum of your parts, not parts of your some." Heard that somewhere recently.

I'd love to hear a phobe's attempt to justify themselves without using the words "disgusting" or "unnatural".

Sexual fluidity is a real thing.

Moz said...

Amanda: "I find the idea of being tied up and beaten deeply frightening and dont want to see it happen or hear someone talk about how much they enjoy it. I realise intellectually that they don't want to do that to me, but that doesn't mean it's not scary to hear about."

Does that meet your criteria?