Cross-posted at the ex-expat.
I loved the movie Juno, it was funny and intelligent tale of the trials and tribulations of teenage pregnancy. I also respected that the writer and director didn't gloss over the painful and negative aspects of adoption and that the film also highlighted the character's network of family and friends who loved and supported her through the tough process. However after I finished watching Juno, I began to worry that the movie might be used as an excuse to promote adoption as an option to young woman.
Sadly I was right.
Of course the herald piece doesn't mention this but a quick glance of the Adoption Trust's website shows a piece from tearway that does just that along with an advertisement from the trust for a free DVD and information about adoption.
I want to be clear as that my criticism is not of adoption process itself, what I am concerned about both from the herald piece and the adoption trust's DVD is that it is putting pressure on women, in particular young women, to pursue a highly painful physical and emotion option that may not be in their best interests.
And sure enough the reasons given for the promotion of the adoption option in the Herald piece seem to have little to do with the rights of the women making the decision but more on the desires of childless couples to create a family. I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. I am sure it must cut those who are not physically able to become parents to the core when they get the probing questions as to their lack of children or when yet another horrific case of child abuse hits the headlines. However their desire to become parents should not have any influence on a woman's decision to continue with an unplanned pregnancy.
Because as Juno brilliantly demonstrates pursuing the adoption particularly for a teenager is not easy. Aside from the tough physical process of pregnancy and giving birth, dealing with judgments and condescension of others is just as difficult. The movie also doesn't gloss over the emotional ramifications of giving a baby up for adoption just after birth. We know that despite all the support she receives, that the process still cuts Juno to the core. Thus any decision to adopt needs to serve the interests of the mother first and foremost.
However despite the negatives surrounding adoption and my own personal experience with an unplanned pregnancy, I still think adoption can be a great thing. One of my close friends is a brilliant mother to her two adopted sons while another one became a 'birth mother' in her mid twenties. However my point is that just like the other alternatives to unplanned pregnancy, abortion and unplanned parenthood, there are positive and negative aspects to both.
And it shouldn't be anybody's right to overly promote and pressure women to pursue one option nor to make judgments over her decision.* However we should all be there to support her with whatever decision she makes makes because pregnancy lasts 9 months not 90 minutes.
* The Adoption trust's birth mum's checklist shows a lot about their priorities. It places explaining the decision to a potential child ahead of making the informed decision and the consideration of a support network for the process is right near the bottom of the page.
3 comments:
A friend and I just had this same discussion yesterday. If these efforts were directed towards young women or girls - or even adult women - who have already made the decision to go through with an unplanned pregnancy, for whatever reason, I would be quite enthusiastic about supporting them: not to pressure girls and women to give up their children, but to present them with a good option, like open adoption, that would allow them (especially girls and very young women) to continue their lives with a minimum of hardship. However, it seems instead to be focussed on encouraging young women to go through with pregnancy as opposed to having an abortion. As much as infertile couples may want to have children, I do not believe that desire ought to extend to asking, pressuring, or guilting young women into undergoing pregnancy (which is TEN TIMES more risky than abortion) and the emotional difficulties associated with it and with adoption.
'ow ow fuckity ow' has to be my favourite movie quote of all time. I don't think anything sums up the pain of childbirth better than those four sweet little words.
Yeah, I don't think a woman necessarily has any obligation to go through a pregnancy she doesn't want to, and needs to be made aware precisely of how sickly, painful, and stressful some pregnancies can be when she's deciding what she wants to do about a pregnancy.
That said, I do think it never hurts to consider all your options before you make a decision, and there will certainly be women for whom a third choice other than "abortion" and "(teenage) motherhood" might be exactly the right option, and that there are some positives to adoption that neither motherhood nor abortion present. (essentially, adopting out is to abortion is like the opposite to what adopting in is to motherhood of your own child)
I absolutely agree that pervasive pressure on the subject of motherhood decisions is wrong. Women ought to be able to make an informed decision for themselves- even if they do something I think is stupid.
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