He's just not that into you.
It's a single phrase stretched into 200-page book bestseller book and now according to the advertising a movie boasting a whole heap of a-listers.
In case you missed this pop culture fad circa 2004 the gist of the book goes like this:
He says he's afraid to get hurt? Actually, he's just not that into you. He's madly busy at work? No, he's just not that into you. He's too tired for sex? Get with the programme, honey. Soon, you begin to wonder whether it is worth bothering with men at all. Suppose your S/O says he's going to a rugby game. On the surface of things, this is just another sign of his Y chromosome. Then again, perhaps he is just not that into you. After all, he could be giving you a foot rub.
Apparently the phrase came up during a writers' meeting for Sex and the City. One of the women present was describing how her current object of affection was giving her mixed messages. 'He's scared,' said the others. 'Give him time.' Then apparently the sole male writer piped up 'Sounds like he's just not that into you' and the juggernaut was launched.
I suppose one level the book is liberating insofar that departs from the idea that if a man can't get a woman it's women's fault and if a woman can't get a man it's her fault that is the mainstay of most relationship advice geared at women. Accepting that a man is 'just not that into you' means no more sitting by the phone; no more cancelling evenings out on the off-chance he will be free, and definitely no more making excuses for him when he dishes out lines like: 'I have a problem with intimacy'. Hooray!
But it still overly relies on men do this/women do that dichotomy for dating which really isn't helpful for dealing with actual human beings as opposed to cardboard cut outs. I still don't understand why people are so down on the idea of a woman 'making a move' on a guy if she thinks he's hot. If he digs her he'll be happy that she called, but if he's bummed that she's stolen his thunder, well then perhaps she shouldn't be that into him.