Sunday, 15 March 2009

The Secret Journal of Wriggly's Mother

Work day
Mr T said I looked tired. Meant well. Went on to say it must be because I am a working mother.
Refrained from pointing out he is working father with three children himself.

Another work day
On phone duty, which always makes me think I'll never see my son again. In that window-less room it could be 3am. I could have been there twelve hours already. Nope, only twenty eight minutes. No one would find me until tomorrow if I fainted.
Told by one caller that I was actually quite helpful. Apparently this is a surprise.

Another work day
Have been working quite long days plus Wriggly has been sleeping in. Not seeing much of him. Feels like everytime I do get a cuddle his father has replaced him with an infinitesimally older version. Where has my little baby boy gone?

One early evening
Wriggly bumped his head and was as per usual inconsolable. Except by Daddy. First time he's wanted his father rather than me (or both of us) when he's upset. Bit sad, but also bit relieved.

Another work day
Away for work from 6am, home 8pm. Frustrating day. Why do I always miss my son more when I'm in another city? Perhaps because people ask about him more? Being in my office in Auckland is more like the pre-Wriggly days, and I can kind-of forget the last two years?

A week end day
Nice to spend whole day with son. He has so much energy that I run out of ideas though and feel like I must be boring him. Surely board book cannot be that interesting when you can't even read? Should probably get book on Quality Time That Makes Your Child Super-Toddler from library, to maximise weekends. Or something.

A Sunday
Ah, sweet sleepin-in at last. Feel like should be with Wriggly though, not sleeping, that I'm letting the side down somehow by indulging myself. Must be staunch. Must remember "put own oxygen mask on first." Time to remember good things about work and hold them close.


Jackie Clark said...

Oh lovie. Just know that what you do for your teachers is a good, good thing. And if you weren't doing it, we'd be stuffed. Can I slip into early childhood expert type person mode here, and reiterate what you already know to be so? Be assured that babies/toddlers/young men need nothing more from you than your time. So when you are with him, just be with him. You work so you can support your family. No damage is being done to his young psyche. Keep telling yourself this! Cos it is true.

Julie said...

Thanks Jackie, I actually really love my job! I'm quite happy working, just wanted to vent some of the little bits and pieces. They don't happen day after day, just from time to time.

You definitely wouldn't be stuffed without me, but it's nice of you to say so all the same :-)

Today he spent a lot of time laughing, which was absolutely glorious. He took several steps in the hall, without holding on to anything, wobbled, then took a few more and he was so chuffed! I smile just thinking about it.

stargazer said...

ah, so much the story of modern motherhood... there's just never enough time, never enough energy! i guess it's because, like many of us, you're doing more than just work & home stuff - there's all the extra time with the blog, the faxathon, the hand mixer etc etc etc.

don't worry, i like to think that all this extra stuff is making a better world for our kids to grow up in, so is actually contributing to their well-being just as much as direct time with them. but i know, it's not the same...