Wednesday, 20 May 2009

only 57? i've got 81!

following on from julie's post about winning husbands, i received an email version which 81 ways to win your wife (and 100 ways to win your husband, but we've already talked about that). and so of course i had to share. there were these:
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her. [awww].

then there were these:
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.

and there were also these:
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.[now that's even better than putting the seat back down!].
29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue [i don't think that means what you think it means], be an artist with your compliments.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.

i have no idea where these orignated from, but i'm thinking we need to find the members of that nz universties delegation so that we can go through and discuss all 81 points, one-by-one...

22 comments:

Giovanni said...

This

[now that's even better than putting the seat back down!

is not one of the eigthy-one, but as a male I cannot overstate how very, very unwise it is of women to demand that the seat stays down in the household. Just don't do it.

stargazer said...

do you have a technical reason for that giovanni, or is it just a personal preference?

Giovanni said...

If the rule of the household is that it has to stay down, five men out of five won't bother to even lift it when we are supposed to. For one thing, we are slobs, for another, we love a sporting challenge. 'Don't even need to, reckon I can aim it just right so there won't be any tiny splashes.'

Trust me: you want a rule where it needs to stay UP. Either that, or security cameras. Or disposable toilet seats.

Giovanni said...

Also, for those women who might reckon that their guy isn't like that? He is.

Anna said...

Once, after several years of living with my partner, we had a visitor who left the seat up. It was at that moment that I realised my partner had silently been putting it down all that time, as a courtesy to me. The irony is, I'm not a woman who even cares about toilet-seat placement.

When these sorts of tips are at their best, they tend to be equally applicable to both sexes. Things like 'be considerate' and 'try not to smell' are guidance that everyone should follow.

Giovanni said...

Thank you for illustrating my point so quickly, Anna!

Sarah said...

I liked #44 better without the compliment bit.

#63 R is building a deck at the moment but the only flowers in bloom we have on the property are gorse so he better not be leaving a trail of them!

Deborah said...

Also, for those women who might reckon that their guy isn't like that? He is.I was just about to say, "But my partner is not like that!"

You've shattered my illusions, Giovanni.

Anna said...

Nothing says 'romance' like a trail of gorse...

stargazer said...

oops, just found the link to the saudi gazette article, which i've put into the post. so now you can all read through the full 81...

Sarah said...

My illusions are shattered too - although he leaves the lid down too so does that count?

Giovanni said...

It most certainly counts - against him.

And sorry for the shattering of illusions, but I see it as my civic duty. Plus I sell disposable toilet seats for a living.

Monday said...

I have a potential solution for the toilet seat problem: put the LID down. Surely nobody in their right mind will try to aim for the tiny crack between the lid and the seat...

stargazer said...

true story, monday. i always put the lid down before flushing, after hearing more than one interview about the germs that fly into the air from a flushing toilet. one particular statement i heard from an expert that i always remember: "there's a reason why they have a lid, so use it!".

Giovanni said...

Surely nobody in their right mind will try to aim for the tiny crack between the lid and the seat...

Is this a challenge? I'm going to have to question how much you know the men in your lives.

Giovanni said...

i always put the lid down before flushing, after hearing more than one interview about the germs that fly into the air from a flushing toilet.

I pray you never hear the one about the average computer keyboard carrying a lot more germs than the average toilet seat.

Ops.

anna c said...

After reading these comments, I've never been so glad to live in an all female household.

Monday said...

anna c - couldn't agree more!

Giovanni said...

Oh, pfui, we do have our uses. Like, you know... and... okay, I can't think of any right now. But you'd miss us if we were gone!

Trouble said...

Lid down is just as annoying as seat up, speaking as someone who doesn't like to blind themselves by turning on the light in the middle of the night.

That being said, if you have a loo in the same room as your toothbrush, I can see the lid-down rationale.

I had a flatmate once who very obviously left the seat down while doing his thing. It was Not Cool.

Hugh said...

I'm pretty sure the next person who gets sick because germs escaping from an open toilet lid got onto their toothbrush will be the first.

The lid exists more for reasons of squeamishness than genuine hygiene.

hungrymama said...

One toddler-flushing-his-toothbrush incident was enough for me to learn that putting the lid down buys me a second or two of reaction time. Though the cats were peeved that they couldn't drink out of the bowl any more.