Guest post: An abortion story

Thanks very much to the anonymous reader who has sent in the story of a friend. Another perspective to the abortion discussion. To me stories of this nature just underline how important it is that no woman is forced to continue or terminate their pregnancy against their wishes. Please comment with respect, in the spirit that this has been shared.

In 1985, as a 15 year old, this person became pregnant as a result of what she now knows as date rape. It was her 2nd encounter with a male, but this was with a male a couple of years older than her and he frightened her. She thought what she was experiencing was how it was done with adults.

She confided in a friend that she was pregnant, this friend told several people at school. She has told less than 5 people about this. She is a pro-lifer and wanted to keep the baby. The male was never to be seen again. Her mother knew, her father did not - this was for her own safety. She had no choice but to abort. She protested bitterly, but the GP and mother made the decision to refer to the day clinic and despite her signing the consent form she was not in control of her body. Her mother brought her flowers that day, and they have never spoken of it since.

She decided she would spend her life dedicated to children, and she has spent her entire adult life working with children, in a way, trying to make good with the world, and has had a very successful career in early childhood teaching. She worries that one day her secret would be revealed, and all of her hard work would become trivial in the minds of those whose opinion she values.

She is married, very happily, with several children whom she absolutely lives for. Her husband does not know of her abortion, she knows he will love her no less, but she can’t bring herself to admit it. She often wonders how life could have turned out had she had this baby, who would be a young adult now. Her argument for pro choice, is that it has to be a real choice. Her pain is that she didn’t know what date rape meant at the time, and she believes she is not the only person affected by this man. This event changed her forever, mostly she feels great, and life is good, but often she feels guilt and shame, not only about her own naivety, but that she ended a life without a choice. From the outside, you would never know this about her. She has no tolerance for those that don’t pull up their boot straps and march on in the face of adversity and believes that we make our own destiny, that the events in our lives happen, and some of them are truly dreadful, but that life goes on and we must support and honour those that share their time with us.