Breast vs formula: a false dichotomy

One of the things that bugs me most about much of the discussion about feeding babies is the way that it paints breastmilk and formula as mutually exclusive options. 

There's a lot of guilt inducement all tied up in it too, much as a result of personal experiences of judgyness that cannot and should not be denied.  Many many mothers have felt the discomfort of the You Shouldn't Be Doing That stare, whether it be directed at their breastfeeding or the bottle they whip out to deliver formula (or indeed expressed breastmilk).

Shelley Bridgeman's ill-advised column in the Herald this week has brought out all sorts of feministy outrage, all over the interweb, not least in Giarne's guest post and the comments to that.  I've seen discussions on Facebook, Twitter, on other blogs, the comment section on the article itself, and heard them in real life too, all critiquing Bridgeman's bizarre take on it.  It has touched a raw nerve, which is not surprising given the factual inaccuracies and really quite out there conclusions drawn from a life experience that seems pretty rare.

I really liked this comment, which Nikkin made on Giarne's post:

It is sad to read of the "putting baby first" vs "putting mummy first". The mother/baby dichotomy is counterintuitive. The wellbeing of baby is caught up in the wellbeing of the mother and vice versa.

This has been so true for me.  And it has lead me to the conclusion that for me it isn't breast or formula that works, it is both. 

With Wriggly the formula started in the hospital.  My milk wasn't coming in, we were both struggling with feeding, and he was losing too much weight.  But it wasn't the end of breastfeeding for us; far from it, after three months, when most of our troubles came right, he was mostly breastfed until I went back to work at nine months.  After that it was a slow realisation that first expressing at work wasn't going to be practical (dropped lunch feed), then I had too much evening work (dropped dinner feed) and finally I just didn't have much left and he wasn't all that interested.  We made it to precisely a year. 

And it was formula that helped us make it.  It took the pressure off the breastfeeding and meant I could concentrate on increasing my supply, getting our latching right, and kicking the thrush to the curb, plus it slowed my unhealthy weight loss. 

Second time around and while the experience has been different in some respects (we made it to three months of exclusive breastmilk), again formula has enabled me to continue breastfeeding when the nipples just would not come right.   It has curbed weight loss, for both of us, and given me some flexibility for my mental health as well, on those days when the idea of being attached to Snuffly by a very short tether has simply been too overwhelming with everything else I have to get done.  He's just hit eight months and is having one breastfeed a day, along with two of formula and a fair few servings of solids.  It's likely I'll have to wean in the next month or two, due to commitments that will take me away from him overnight, and that's ok with me.

For me the Great Feeding Debate is not a debate at all, because it's an And not an Or.  These are the choices that have worked for me, for my body, for my babies.  They may or may not work for anyone else.

And for the record I don't feel a great desire to get breast implants post-breastfeeding.  Although I would quite like to go out and buy some beautiful new bras.