Chris Brown and fairy dust

What to make of Chris Brown being so well supported by a handful of Māori women, some with history of working to prevent family violence, that he's tweeting them to say thank you?

Quite a lot, actually.  It's damn good publicity for Mr Brown to be talking about "strong women" about now, when his ability to tour the world is threatened by his use of violence towards other "strong women."  Some might say his livelihood may depend on his ability to reframe himself, since he's been banned from entering the UK, Canada and most recently, Australia.  While touring isn't the biggest money spinner for musicians these days, it's not looking good for Mr Brown, is it?

So you've beaten up your partner, been caught, hit and run another woman, been caught, beaten up male fans, been caught, threatened to kill a queer man, been caught, beaten up a man on the basketball court, been caught.  These incidents span a period of six years, most recent just last May.

Let's get this straight.  I firmly believe people can stop using abusive behaviour.  That's why I've spent nearly twenty-five years working to end gendered violence.  Violence is social behaviour that people LEARN - it's not inevitable or natural or boys being boys.  It's also not an accident, it's the logical conclusion of all the ways femininity and women are reduced to less than by dominant cultural values.   

Changing violent behaviour - and changing the ways you use power more broadly - is hard work.  It requires honesty, self-reflection, feeling the pain of causing others harm.  Listening to people you've hurt and taking responsibility for never doing that again is about the hardest process I've ever tried to participate in.  Many men who use violence don't seem to have the stomach for it.

The men we look up to matter.  They are part of what stitches together gendered violence, misogyny and sexist oppression.  Does Chris Brown teach young men to treat women, and all other genders with respect or disdain?  Is he the kind of man we want young men in Aotearoa to learn from, emulate, hold up as a role model?

Hell no.

I have no doubt that part of Tariana Turia and other high profile Māori women's support of Chris Brown is disgust at the different ways men of colour and white men are treated when it comes to using violence.  She's right about that, and not just at the immigration border.  I went to a Refuge hui once where Māori women were talking about criminalisation of Māori men, and Pākehā women were talking about not being able to get adequate police responses to white middle class male perpetrators.  I've personally seen the police not charge white men who have knifed their partners, and put their partners in hospital after beatings - even when they knew he was the perpetrator.  The reality is, whiteness is like a magic cloud of fairy dust in all kinds of ways, and when it comes to causing violence, it's the best way to avoid consequences, particularly when combined with middle class belonging. 

 

But the answer's not extending the white fairy dust to Chris Brown.  It's extending the calling out of the use of violence - with associated sanctions - to white entertainers too.  The flip-side of constructing men of colour as scary violent thugs - racist and damaging as this is to Black masculinities - is the invisibility of white men's violence, in all kinds of ways.  So next time the Rolling Stones tour, let's have just as much public discussion of Bill Wyman's acknowledged statutory rape and their lyrics promoting raping Black women as the publicity Mr Brown has attracted this last week or so.  That would be progress around ending gendered violence.

Secondary Effects

A few days ago, I spent the afternoon with a group of women. We had met, generally through online groups or professional contacts, and kept in touch. Some of them I was meeting for the first time, others I already knew in person. We laid out food we had made the previous day or picked up hastily on the way, cold meats and cheeses, quiche, boiled potatoes with butter, chocolate brownies. We sat on the deck in the sun, drinking ginger beer and talking. We gossiped - yes, gossiped! - a bit. We told jokes where we knew what was coming and laughed before the punchline had been spoken.

I don't think at any point we mentioned the Sandy Hook massacre. News had only just started to be filtered through to us. Maybe we didn't feel like there was much worth saying. Maybe, with the majority of us working in education in one way or another, it hit too close to home. We hadn't yet realised that - like every one of us - the shooter was autistic, and that once again the term would start being banded around as synonymous with lack of empathy, lack of feeling and violence.

Parents stepped up their search for normalcy, because normal people don't commit violence, because clearly forcing your child to stop moving or communicating in the way that's easiest and most natural to them is the best way to prevent a massacre. Someone claimed to have phoned the police about an autistic person they know of, fearing they may become violent with no further evidence than the fact they're weird.

Not many people have talked about the six year old autistic victim, Dylan Hockley. We haven't much either. We're too busy trying to defend ourselves. We haven't talked much about the other issues that relate to us as the gun debate - and I can't believe it's even a debate - steps up, about the number of autistic people, predominantly young men, shot by police, and about how that's supposed to just be accepted.

A lot of what I want to say can be summed up by Julie's post, There is no Depression in New Zealand, which mostly but not altogether could apply to my experience of being autistic (and mental illness is not something entirely foreign to me either) - this is just my version of it. There is of course a need to challenge the stereotypes that get applied, the associations with violence that have no basis in fact, the refusal to meaningful acknowledge perpetrated against those with mental illness and autistic people.

And of course it's hard to process events like this. We all want to live in a world without them, to find some magic key that means they won't happen again.  But if the cost is prejudice, if it's our acceptance of child abuse, if it's persecution and ultimately leads to more violence, we are only floating further from any kind of solution.

Time to Queer the Night again!

Last year I was involved in organising Queer the Night, a march in response to transphobic and homophobic violence on our streets. It was an amazing night, with lots of energy and a great sense of community, from which evolved The Queer Avengers.

It would be nice to never need to do it again, but we do. This year we're marching in Wellington on May 11th, and focussing on transphobic and homophobic bullying in schools. Full details here.

I'll be marching, in solidarity with QUILTBAG youth, and in memory of those who  have lost their lives this year and in the years before. And there are two particular things I'll be marching for:

The first is the need to specifically address bullying aimed at children and young people because of their actual or percieved sexual orientation or gender identity. Whilst in previous years Pink Shirt Day has specifically related to homophobic bullying, in New Zealand at least is has now evolved into a more general anti-bullying campaign.

Stopping bullying is of course a cause to get behind, but at the same time transphobic and homophobic bullying does need a specific response. Overseas research puts suicidal thoughts and attempts for LGB High School Students at between 3.5 and 7.1 times higher than heterosexual students and found that 30 percent of LGB youth versus 13 percent of heterosexual youth (mean age of about 18) had attempted suicide at some point. New Zealand statistics appear to follow a similar pattern. Accurate statistics for gender varient youth are harder to come by, but there is every indication that they are significantly higher.

These aren't just numbers. These are kids we know.

QUILTBAG youth are unusual as a minority group, in that usually no other member of their immediate family is a member of that same minority group. Whilst some parents and family members are supportive, even they are often not helped to support their children. Others can be dismissive or outright hostile, meaning that neither home nor school is a safe place. With queer content frequently ignored in lessons, children feel that there is simply no place for them in the world.

Because it is often technically possible for these young people to remain secret about their identity, many are pressured to do so, irrespective of the - sometimes devastating - impact on them, and blamed for being out when they are targeted. Innappropriate toilet facilities and uniform codes make many schools completely inaccessible for gender variant youth.

All bullying needs tackling, but there are specific issues that affect QUILTBAG young people. We can't just shove them under the carpet.

The second is summed up in our slogan 'It Doesn't Get Better Until We Make it Better'. The It Gets Project was an international series of videos in reponse to what was painted in the media as a cluster of suicides amongst queer teens (but was actually the statistical norm) and featured mostly queer adults talking about how much better their lives had become, and encouraging teens to hang on, because it would get better for them too.

The videos were beautiful and heartbreaking. But now it's time for something more.

I'd like every young person considering suicide to reconsider. I believe - hell, I know from personal experience - that things can get much better. But I'd like it even more if we combatted the structural prejudice that allowed them to get to that point. Bullying shouldn't be a part of life, nor should prejudice, nor should suicidality.

The pressure shouldn't be on one individual to put up with what feels unbearable. It should be for all of us to fight alongside them.

Nor should we ignore the fact that for some people it never will get better. That it's already too late. Or others, for whom things have got better, but they still suffer the lasting effects, both emotional/psychological and educational.

'It doesn't get better until we make it better' is more than a message of hope. It's a call to arms.

The devastation transphobic and homophobic bullying brings is too critical to ignore; the lives that can be changed by combatting it are too precious not to fight for. Bring your pink shirts and your glo-sticks and come Queer the Night.

Conversations I want to have

The following was recently published in 'Thinking Differently', the quarterly newsletter of Autism New Zealand Inc.

'Your Letters'

This is an excerpt from a letter we received from one reader, who had been married to a man with Aspergers Syndrome. She discovered he'd been sexually interfering with her 11-year old twin daughters and eventual divorced him. The letter is extensive, but she presents a valid point of view, based on her experience.
"The Law is there to protect others from those behaviours. Aspergers should not be exempt from the law or being locked up. I do believe many serial killers and rapists have Aspergers. They can be cunning and devious. Aspergers do commit crimes, probably more often than normal people. We matter too."
H---- F--- (abridged)

I'm angry and saddened that it was written, more so that Autism New Zealand saw fit to publish such an offensive letter whilst stating that it presents 'a valid point of view'. But I'm perhaps most frustrated at the way it has set the agenda, that to counteract this it feels necessary to scrabble round for statistics saying that we're not any more likely to murder or rape than "normal people". I don't want to have to come up with examples of how we're the good "Aspergers" who pay our taxes and follow the law and have never had so much as a speeding fine. Those aren't the conversations I want to have.

I don't think there's any way to usefully engage with the idea of 'serial killers'. Is regular murder not shocking enough? There really aren't enough serial killers out there for this to be a meaningful discussion. I don't believe aspies are any more likely to be rapists than the general population. If there's evidence of a statistically significant disparity, that needs to be looked at, but in a country and world with the rates of rape and associated violence that exists, along with the terrible conviction rates and limited government willingness to do anything about either, I feel there are more important things to engage in that idle speculation about who does it most.

But let's leave aside the serial killers and the rapists for a second. Let's talk about the aspies who end up in the justice system for vandalism, for theft, for getting into fights or retaliating against violence. Lets talk about those who have not done what they're accused of but can't stand up to questioning or navigate the legal system (as a teenager I admitted to shoplifting I hadn't done (fortunately avoiding a criminal charge) because security guard told me I had no choice but to admit it and I believed that, literally, and because I didn't see any way anyone would understand my compulsive need to read song lyrics anyway). If the main backbone of the conversation is that statistically most of us are law abiding, if those of us who can go round flaunting our jobs and our taxpaying and our relationships and our degrees and our mortgages and our nice clean criminal records, then we're feeling good about ourselves and changing absolutely nothing.

So instead, let's have a conversation about a world which makes things unbearable for us, and when we lash out, potentially at people or at objects, the solution is not to change the environment to prevent a reoccurance, but to punish us. Let's have a conversation about how difficult legal systems are to navigate, how atypical facial expressions or eye contact are so often assumed to mean guilt, how a neurotypical person can sometimes avoid a charge for a minor offence with a "sorry mate" whilst pedantic questioning of language and the nature of the offence is almost certainly going to lead to an arrest. Let's talk about how atypical movement or gestures or reasons for going to places is viewed as grounds for suspicion, how silence is viewed as stubbornness or lack of co-operation, how literal interpretation of questions is viewed as rudeness. Let's talk about how the effect is doubled, tripled for people already disadvantaged in our legal system.

Let's not be afraid to have a conversation about prisons. When people say we don't lock up autistic people/mentally ill people/intellectually impaired people, I always want to ask what the hell they think prisons are other than a dumping ground with disproportionate rates of all of the above. And I get why we're afraid to talk about this - we've spent so long trying to say that we're good people really, we're not scary people, we could be your neighbour. But we need to challenge the assumption that there's a perfect correlation between 'in prison' and 'bad person', or that crimes exist in some kind of vacuum as an indicator of someone's morality, rather than being socially constructed.

Yes, it is worth challenging such obvious bigotry, the inaccruate assumptions, the stereotyping and the offensive language. And then let's move on. If we're talking about Aspergers and crime, let's talk about parents who murder autistic children and are then treated with sympathy, about autistic people who have been raped and are then told their non-verbal communication is inadmissable in court. Let's talk less about how some cunning and devious aspies can apparently get away with everything (something I'd guess would have far more to with the numbers who get away with child abuse generally) and more about how the legal system fails aspies on both sides.

Call to Action: supporting Auckland Sexual Abuse Help

Luddite Journo has written several excellent posts on the urgent funding plight of Auckland's 24/7 phoneline for those affected by sexual violence, run by Auckland Sexual Abuse Help.  You can still sign the petition, currently over 5000 sigs in less than a week.

Tomorrow (Friday 16th December) those in Auckland have two chances to show your support for this absolutely vital service, and pressure the Government to come through with the vital money, as follows:

Crisis Cake Stall
WHEN:  11am, Friday 16th December
WHERE:  Outside Nikki Kaye's electorate office, 82 College Hill, Freemans Bay.
WHO:  Anyone really who wants to show support for the service, and the organisation in general.  I'll be there, with Snuffly and cupcakes.
I'll add a link to the media release on this once it is up.

Public Rally
WHEN:  6.30pm, Friday 16th December
WHERE:  QE2 Square, opposite the Britomart Train Station
WHO:  All welcome, bring your ranty voices!
Facebook event with more info is here.

If you can only make one and are trying to pick then I recommend the evening event, as that's where numbers will be most important.  Although, if the funding from Government is pledged before 6.30pm then it may be cancelled (in which case I'll try my best to put an update on the blog).

Political Parties and Family Violence

Jared at Left Wing rants has written an excellent overview of political parties and their attitudes to/policies on reducing family violence:

The most worrying thing for me is the lack of discussion around education. Something that has struck me in my research is that many people aren’t aware of what is actually health in a relationship. This is something that people should be educated about in school (similar to with sex education) to prevent them being trapped in an unhealthy relationship without knowing. This would make it easier for people to talk about it and seek help when they need it, as well as making it more likely that perpetrators would seek help. But overall, Labour, the Greens and Mana have good policies focusing on support for victims as well as prevention. National, on the other hand, have more punishment, while ACT don’t seem to care. The Māori Party seem to fit somewhere in the middle.

Check out the whole post.

commemoration

it's september the 11th again, and ten years on from the attack on the various targets in the unites states. every year we have the reminders of this anniversary, the coverage across the media, the images played again on our screen.

the annual reminders around this disaster keep the tragedy fresh in our memories and remind us of those who suffered, the pain and the grief that is obviously still a major factor in the lives of the people most directly affected by it.

yet there is no doubt that this annual commemoration is a political event, it has political and social implications. simply because no other international tragedy has a similar commemoration or media focus. perhaps the bombing of hiroshima and nagasaki comes close - there tends to be a newsclip about commemorations in japan, but this is rarely the first or second item in the news report, nor does it get a full half hour's attention on, say, campbell live.

the anniversary of the massacre at sribrenica does also tend to get some coverage. but not so much the boxing tsunami that took so many lives, nor other massacres of the second world war. subsequent wars barely get a mention, and there isn't a commemoration day where we actually consider those who suffered and listen to their first hand accounts.

don't get me wrong - i'm not saying that we shouldn't remember what happened in america on 11 sept 2001. i'm saying we should also remember those other events, and hear from those others who have suffered and are continuing to suffer. because if we don't, then we treat one set of victims as more important than another, more worthy of our attention than others. and we then feel less inclinded to do something to alleviate their suffering or to even identify with it.

and when we remember 11 september 2001, we should also remember those who have suffered and continue to suffer because of wars that resulted from it. let's hear not just from those in new york but also from those in washington DC, the relatives of those who died in that other plane that went down, and the people of afghanistan and iraq. let's learn what it's like to have bombs and terrorist attacks every other day, because these people too are a casualty of the bombing in america. let's hear about their heroism and courage in the face of horror and tragedy on a massive scale, their sacrifices and humanity.

of course there are plenty of other people who are much better than saying what i want to say. so here are a few links: first from an american, steve almond, on "the decade of magical thinking":

Nobody stood up – in Congress, in the bright studios of our corporate media, in city hall – to make the obvious point that millions of people in other parts of the world live in a state of perpetual danger. And that the events of 9/11 might therefore require of us a greater empathy for those suffering elsewhere, might even nudge us toward a more serious consideration of our own imperial luxuries and abuses, and how these might relate to the deprivations suffered in less fortunate precincts.

That’s not what we talked about. No, we talked about our feelings. Americans were bloated with empathy in the weeks after 9/11. But something fatal was happening: as a nation, we were consenting to pursue vengeance over mercy.

please do go and read the whole piece. here's another by cas mudde on the security implications:

Every event has winners and losers and 9/11 is no exception. More broadly, the larger intelligence-security complex has been the major winner. Throughout the world budgets for intelligence agencies and related security firms (often private) have skyrocketed. In Australia the increase since 2001 has been almost tenfold! At the same time, the influence of these organisations has grown exponentially, as a consequence of the securitisation of politics and the hasty introduction of new and often vague and thus far-reaching laws....

The report emphasises that many non- and semi-democracies have also used post-9/11 anti-terrorism legislation to stifle democratic and non-violent internal opposition, though it fails to report that there are many examples of similar arrests and harassments in established democracies (such as the scandal involving the wiretapping of US peace activists).

there's this piece by glenn greenwald at salon:

This is why there is nothing more dangerous -- nothing -- than allowing this type of power to be exercised without accountability: no oversight, no transparency, no consequences for serious wrongdoing: exactly the state of affairs that prevails in the United States. It's also why there are few things more deeply irresponsible, vapid and destructive than demanding that citizens, activists, and journalists retreat into Permanent Election Mode: transform themselves into partisan cheerleaders who refrain from aggressively criticizing the party that is slightly less awful out of fear that the other party might win an election 14 months away, even when their own party is the one in power. Renouncing the duty of holding accountable political leaders who exercise vast power makes one directly responsible for the abuses they commit.

here's an account by chilean mario nain on the effects of 11 september 1973, or this piece from the guardian on the same topic:

The coup was supported by the US government of Richard Nixon. But after 1977, the Carter administration distanced itself from Pinochet because of his repeated violation of human rights. The regime remained in power for 16 years, becoming one of the longest lasting military dictatorships in Latin America, and it almost certainly introduced more changes than in any other country. Economic policy took a radical neoliberal turn under the influence of Milton Friedman. Allende's nationalisations were reversed and a programme of privatisations was introduced, together with the elimination of tariff barriers; this, alongside the banning of trade unions, produced a dramatic fall in real wages and an equally dramatic increase in business profits.

a commemoration of 11 september gives us the opportunity to contemplate many things. let's hope that we do take the time to widen our internal gaze and think about all those affected in a myriad of ways as a result of events on this particular day.

Guest Post: Hollaback Wellington launches this week!

A guest post from Josephine at the Wellington Young Feminists’ Collective, cross posted on the WYFC blog. Many thanks to WYFC for submitting this.

 The WYFC is launching Hollaback Wellington this week and we’re really excited!

Hollaback was started by a group of people in New York as a website and mobile application to raise awareness of the street harassment many women and LGBTQ folk were experiencing on a daily basis. The idea was so simple but effective that soon Hollaback chapters were being launched across the world, and now we are bringing it to Wellington.

The idea behind Hollaback is that people who experience street harassment need a voice. Hollaback’s aim is to do this through harnessing mobile and web technology, creating a global network of blogs and a mobile apps relating to different countries and cities. All chapters are unique but linked by a common goal - to reduce the amount of street harassment that happens in their city.

Harassment in the home, workplace or at school is widely considered unacceptable but it seems that in our public spaces all bets are off. Street harassment is a form of gender and sexuality based violence that a huge number of people all over the world experience everyday.

Street harassment includes touching, groping, lewd comments, following, flashing, assault and other violent acts. The logistics of reporting these events involves users filling out a form on the Hollaback website, which is then posted by a site administrator to a map of Wellington, showing a red marker where the incident occurred and outlining the story in full. We’re primarily targeting women and LGBTQ people, but anyone who experiences street harassment is welcome to post.

We’re setting this up in Wellington because we felt the need for a service of this kind. My own motivation came from some awful experiences I had at university, where a guy from my maths class decided to start following me around campus, and when he saw me out in public, following me on the street. Not knowing this guy’s name, I couldn’t report him to anyone. What I really wanted to do was tell someone about how his behaviour made me feel: unsafe, alone and disgusting. Hopefully Hollaback Wellington can be some sort of outlet for people who have similar experiences to mine - we want them to know that this is not something you have to brush off or that you have to deal with by yourself.

As we continue to get set up we will promote other organisations that deal with gender based violence, such as HELP Sexual Abuse and Wellington Rape Crisis. We’re also interested in holding self defence workshops, bystander intervention workshops and working with the Council, Students Associations, and engaging with our lawmakers on these issues.

Longer term, we want contribute to making this kind of behaviour socially unacceptable. One of the ways to achieve this is by encouraging people who witness street harassment to speak up. Hollaback International’s most recent fundraising campaign - “I’ve got your back” - raised money so that we can redevelop our blog and mobile app platform to include stories from bystanders who have intervened in street harassment situations. They will be mapped with green marker, and each story will have a button similar to the Facebook ‘Like’ button so that readers can show their solidarity.

Please share this site with your family and friends in Wellington, and contact Hollaback International if you are interested in launching one in your town or city. We’re also having a launch gig at Happy on the 13th, so if you’re in town you should come along.

Loves,

Josephine.

mine kondolanser, norway

as with everyone else, i'm absolutely gutted about the news in norway. it's appalling attack and a terrible tragedy for the people of that country. i started writing this post last night, but it's such a difficult one to write. so i'm going to apologise in advance if there's anything here that could possibly imply that the people of norway deserve anything less than our full sympathy and support.

there are some things that are bothering me about the way this issue is being reported. it's hardly an original thought for me to point out that the use of the term "madman" to describe the terrorist who carried out these attack is hugely ablist and damaging to those with a mental illness. the conflating of violence with mental illness is not backed by any research anywhere, and perpetuates harmful stereotypes.

more than that, to imply that the man responsible for these horrendous attacks was not fully sane is to absolve him of some of the responsibility for the attacks. it is to deny the deliberate and calculated nature of these attacks, that were well-planned and so sadly efficient. this is not the work of someone who has lost their mind, but of someone with the full use of their faculties and a full understanding of what he intended to achieve:

Mr. Breivik was also believed to have posted a video on Friday summarizing his arguments. In its closing moments, the video depicts Mr. Breivik in military uniform, holding assault weapons. Rarely has a mass murder suspect left so detailed an account of his activities. The manifesto describes in detail his purchase of chemicals, his sometimes ham-handed experiments making explosives and his first successful test detonation of a bomb in a remote location on June 13.

by failing to call these attacks exactly what they are ie a full-scale act of terrorims directed against people with a shared political ideology, we shift away the focus from where it needs to lie. it needs to lie with those groups that mr breivik was associated with and it needs to lie with the people who are creating an environment where a person can feel justified in carrying out such an action.

there is no doubt that the environment in europe has become increasingly anti-immigrant, with an extremely negative focus on muslims. as the new york times points out, this kind of thinking is not just in the private arena, but has become an increasing part of the political environment:

The success of populist parties appealing to a sense of lost national identity has brought criticism of minorities, immigrants and in particular Muslims out of the beer halls and Internet chat rooms and into mainstream politics. While the parties themselves generally do not condone violence, some experts say a climate of hatred in the political discourse has encouraged violent individuals.

... Groups are gaining traction from Hungary to Italy, but it is particularly apparent in northern European countries that long have had liberal immigration policies. The rapid arrival of refugees, asylum seekers and economic migrants, many of them Muslims, led to a significant backlash in places like Denmark, where the Danish People’s Party has 25 out of 179 seats in Parliament, and the Netherlands, where Geert Wilders’s Party for Freedom won 15.5 percent of the vote in the 2010 general election.

... Both the Danish and Dutch right-wing parties are backing precarious minority governments while not directly participating by having ministers, and inching toward mainstream acceptance in the process.

the norwegians were totally undeserving of these attacks. it is a cruel crime against those directly or indirectly affected. what i'm seeing in several comments around the traps is that the norwegians are particularly undeserving victims. i think that's unfair on all those innocent civilians who have suffered from bombings and terrorist attacks around the world. each of those are equally undeserving of the violence that has descended on them. any attempt to mark out degrees of victimhood is repellent. can we not offer our support to the norwegians at this time, without the unnecessary comparisons? they're unhelpful and don't actually indicate any higher degree of concern.

it's hard not to look at this act, in conjunction with other acts of violence happening around the world, and feel a sense of despair at the polarisation of hate groups and their increasing power. how on earth do we counter something like this, and where do we even begin? any attempt to lower the hatred or to encourage a toning down of hate-filled rhetoric is quickly lost in "freedom of speech" arguments. the fact is that hate groups around the world - regardless of religion (or lack thereof), ethnicity, nationality - have always managed to gain a high degree of political success by targetting minorities or some conveniently framed other. despite the incredible violence such a tactic causes, human beings fail to learn from history and we fail to adequately counter this particular tactic.

unfortunately, i don't have any answers in my own mind. if a cure for this kind of political and social illness was possible, then i'm sure it would have been applied by now. all i can do is express my sadness, and ask that people name this act correctly. it's not madness, it is terrorism.

SlutWalking in Auckland in June

Here are my photos from yesterday, in Auckland. I'm not sure if people would like to be named or not (except Cathy) so I haven't shared any of the names I do know - if you want to out yourself in comments feel free, but please don't out others.

It was a really good march, and I was heartened to see that so much of the anger and determination is still there from an International Women's Day march against rape that I went on about four years ago.  That event was a chance to express the rage many felt at the acquittal of some policemen accused of rape earlier in the week. 

This was not an easy event for many to attend.  Protests of this nature never are.  I want to acknowledge that  - some of those who came were probably uncomfortable and it was a great struggle to even make it along.  Others couldn't come for the same reasons. 

Ultimately whether or not you attended a SlutWalk yesterday doesn't matter.  What matters is that you reject rape, reject the myth that those raped are to blame for the assault, and challenge rape culture when you come across it and have the spoons to do so. 

Here are my photos:

Gathering at the start at QE2 Square, great speeches, especially Chloe King who was incredible.

Some awesome people with awesome placards, listening to the awesome speakers at QE2.

One of many great, colourful placards

Walking up Queen St.  "Sexual Assault is the Rapist's Fault" was one of the chants.

More fab placards, at the rear of the march.

The front of the march, as we got further up Queen St.  What you can't see is all the photographers & TV cameras swarming around behind me and up on the pavement getting shots.

Auckland Councillor Cathy Casey took her dogs for a SlutWalk.

I think this is my favourite shot of my ones; feminists and allies in action!

True dat.

SlutWalk sharing

ETA: Updated this morning (Monday) to include more links, in the sections with purple headings :-)  I'm also slotting in new blog stuff as I stumble across it.

A post giving people a chance to chat about their experiences at SlutWalk in Akl and Wellington, and maybe share links to photos. media coverage etc too :-)

Big ups to the Auckland organisers, really good job.  I hope to put some of my pics up in a separate post later Sunday night.

Linky love for SlutWalk:
Gigantic SlutWalk Auckland 2011 Post at Because Feminism.
Photos of Auckland SlutWalk, 25 June at Auckland Photo Blog
SlutWalk - Twitter Messages of Love! at La Vita e Bella

Slutwalk Aotearoa in Wellington, a review at g.blog
Wellington Aotearoa Slutwalk 25/6/11 at Sexshitandrocknroll's Blog (where I found some of these links)
A very productie day / Slutwalk Aotearoa Wellington 2011 at Good Gravey!

New linky love for Slutwalk:
Walking at The Lady Garden
Me (in a sea of people) at La Vita e Bella
Rape: A Local Problem by Gong Foam as a Facebook note
SlutWalking in Auckland in June at The Hand Mirror
Slutwalkin' at Crevice Canyon 
A slutwalk addendum at Good Gravey! 
Slutwalk - Perspectives and Apologies as an Organiser at La Vita e Bella (one of the Wellington organisers responds to issues raised in the comments to this post)
Slutwalk, Wellington at Life is a feminist issue


Media coverage:
SlutWalks brave cold to get message across - TVNZ
Slutwalkers 'tired of bodies being a battleground' - 3News
Hundreds of Kiwis protest in SlutWalk - Stuff (v good video on this link I thought)

Hundreds support SlutWalks in Ack, Wgtn - Yahoo News
Slutwalk draws 500 marchers - Dominion Post 
Slutwalk comes to New Zealand (photo album) - NZ Herald

New media coverage:

I understand The Listener this week will be featuring a major story on SlutWalk.  Nothing about it that I could see on their website just yet.
Hundreds turn out for Auckland's Slutwalk - Te Waha Nui (includes video)
Radio NZ bulletin on the Slutwalks including JoHubris' comments

Photo Albums 

Auckland SlutWalk shots on Imgur by an unknown photographer
Nikki's Auckland photos on flickr
Auckland pics on Facebook:  album by Jia Luo, album by Richard Symons Makeup + Photography, album by Nykie Grove-Eades, album by Showgirls,
Wellington shots on Facebook: album by Mike Bryant, album by Andrea Skews, album by the Greens, album by Jason Mann Photography.

Let me know if you find anything I've missed, has been a frantic weekend so this is pretty patchy!

SlutWalk stuff

Saturday June 25th is SlutWalk day for Aotearoa New Zealand.

 I'll be at the Auckland SlutWalk, weather willing*, which is 2pm at QEII Square (bottom of Queen St), marching up Queen St. Some of the Auckland-based THMers, and friends, will be meeting outside the Muffin Break by the Queen St entrance to the Downtown Westfield at 1.45pm.  More info on the Auckland SlutWalk can be found here.  I have heard that Louise Nicholas may be speaking?

Other THMers may be at the Wellington SlutWalk, which is at 2pm at Waitangi Park, marching to Civic Square.  Wellington Young Feminists Collective are meeting up beforehand at Te Aro Park at 1pm, and they are so onto it they even have a Facebook event for it :-)  More info on the Wellington SlutWalk can be found here.

The SlutWalk concept, and how it has been realised in different parts of the world, have been imperfect imho, however I still feel that it's worthwhile, and I'll be marching tomorrow (I hope) to walk with others who unreservedly put the blame for rape where it belongs; on rapists.  I look forward to a future where discussions of rape centre around the behaviour of rapists, not survivors. 

There have been many many great blog posts in the build-up to SlutWalk and I think it would be totally awesome if people had the energy to add their favourites in comments, but if not that's ok too.  I'm looking forward to the reports and pics after the marches. 

I heartily recommend the amazing & wonderful Deborah's opinion piece on Stuff today about how SlutWalk came about and why it matters.  Here's part of the end:

It's time for a change. It's time to realise that the one thing in common in all rapes is the presence of a rapist, someone who couldn't be bothered to get consent. It's time to understand that the only thing that signifies consent to sex is the participants' willing and enthusiastic consent. Not what people are wearing, not what people have had to drink, not what people have done in the past. What is required is the presence of that wonderful word "Yes!" For both women and men.

I'm SlutWalking for all these reasons. I want to reclaim the word, I want to enable women to celebrate their sexuality, I want an end to victim-blaming.

DON'T READ THE COMMENTS on Stuff.  I haven't, after being fore-warned.

From what I am hearing from a wide variety of women intending to attend there will be all sorts of different outfits on display.  I'll be in Mummy Couture I think.

Good luck everyone, and thanks to the organisers for your hard work.


*  Sadly I have a low threshold for acceptable weather tomorrow as I'll have Snuffly and Wriggly with me.  

Queer the Night: Demo Report

"Are you here somewhere?"

I wasn't - I was running late - but the wording of the text was quite thrilling.

I got there just as the demo was leaving and let the people stream past me. I went backwards and forwards trying to get a handle on the size of the demo. It was more than 500 - too big to count. I did some section counting and my best guess is 600-800 people. It was fucking beautiful.

I saw my friend who had been up to her eyes in organising the demo and told her my estimate (she was expecting it - I'm a little obsessive with demo counting).

"Black, White, Gay, Straight, Love Does Not Discriminate"

"Isn't love the ultimate discrimination - saying that this person is more important than anyone else." Taking chants literally is up there with head-counts as one of my favourite things to do at demos.

"Shut up Maia"

"You've done an amazing job." I give her a hug.

It was a joyous march - you can get a sense of it here:



Two young men had brought along placards designed to insight hate rather than fight it. One said "Iran executes gay people - which side are you on?" the Other "Israel is the most gay-friendly state in the middle east." . Slowly the crowd edged away from them leaving them alone.

Later on someone gave me a flaming torch and I resisted the urge to set their placards on fire ("on careful consideration it would just bring attention to them away from everything awesome" "Yes and they'd also have a burning placard to attack you"). Although having a burning torch and not setting anything on fire is quite difficult, and I had to content myself with lighting people's ciagerettes.

I couldn't hear most of the speeches. I was down the back and megaphones are hard to hear at the best of times.

There were lots of Green party MPs, and Kevin Hague gave what sounded like a good speech. I was surprised about the lack of labour party MPs. When Jordan Carter talked about needing to vote I tried to shout out "Not for parties with MPs who accept that supporting gay rights is hating God." But I couldn't make it work in the moment, so it came out as random labour party sucks rhetoric (it's not that pithy even now).



The most powerful speeches, of course, were of people telling their own stories. Stories of hate, violence, fear - and resistance. Brooklynne's speech spelled out so amazingly how important that resistance was - and the whole event was about collective strength.

There was a girl there in her school uniform. When I was in sixth form the Evening Post printed an article stating we had a lesbian support group in our school (which I don't think even was a lesbian support group). Our principal was on Kim Hill who asked her if she'd allow satanist support group. I didn't do any work in any of my classes the next day, because we just talked about it all the time (what were the conversations even about?). At Queer the Night, those high school kids whose gender and sexuality don't conform with what they're told they should be got such a different message than anything available when I was at school.

It is appalling that Queer the Night is needed, but amazing what the organisers, and everyone there managed to create.

* I have a little bit of a demo counting obsession. I count or try to estimate pretty much every demo I go on.

The invisibility of rape in war

Trigger Warning for this post for rape & violence.

I found the three paragraphs below absolutely chilling when I read them last week.  So much is left unsaid, and yet to me the implications are clear.

Excerpt from Ask That Mountain:  The story of Parihaka, by Dick Scott - first published 1975, this is from the 2006 reprint:

The night raids were stepped up to find which houses to destroy and the women were frequently victims of drunken and diseased troopers.  Once the officers got their wires crossed and a unit raided where it was not expected.  The sequel, as the Auckland Herald delicately reported, was the discovery of 'a gentleman who has taken a very prominent part in the recent proceedings under circumstances that recall the earnest terms in which the West Coast Commission deplore the existence of semi-connubial relations between officials and natives.'

The reality behind the indulgent amusement was that syphilis was brought into the town once given a clean bill of health by Taranaki's medical officer, Dr. O'Carroll, and congenital cases, a direct result of the invasion, were reported through the province for years aftewarrds.*

*  Dr EP Ellison, of Manaia, told the writer:  'There was looting and debauchery.  Perhaps I speak too strongly but the truth must be told.  In my work as a young man I saw cases of congenital syphilis in Taranaki that were the result of the occupation of Parihaka.' Not all excesses were condoned.  At one stage of the Taranaki campaign some of the armed constabulary were court-martialled for copulating with dogs...

Even in 1975, and in more recent reprints, it seems that it was not acceptable to call terrible things by their true names.  This was rape.  It was repeated rape, systematic and used to demoralise and exercise power in a shameful exhibition of a piece with the unfair confiscation of the land.  There is mention of the syphilis that affected the population of Parihaka after these rapes, but no mention of the other effects that violence would have had - not only the physical and mental impact but also no doubt pregnancies and possibly children who resulted from these "semi-connubial" encounters, and then the potential shattering of adult relationships too.  Does the "semi" indicate the only the men consented?  

One of the things I find true about the way that George RR Martin portrays war in his A Song Of Ice And Fire series is how he doesn't make rape invisible.  He doesn't make it prurient either, or paint it as titillating - it is more told than shown, if that makes sense - but he acknowledges it as another form of the violence of war.

It's only by naming it, by acknowledging it, that we can fully recognise that rape is there, it is real, and it must be stopped. 

Queer the Night (Wellington)

On Thursday 9th June a march will be held through Wellington city to stop homophobia and transphobia on our streets.

Queer the Night was inspired by the Reclaim the Night philosophy and initiated in response to a couple of recent incidents where members of the queer community were assaulted in central Wellington. To many, these were a shocking reminder that although we've come far, there are still dangers to those who are or are perceived as being outside heterosexual norms. To others, dealing with homophobia or transphobia on the streets in an everyday experience. Either way, it is unacceptable that any of us are made to fear physical or verbal abuse in our city.

At the same time, we want to celebrate the gains made in this area, and offer our solidarity to those fighting homophobia and transphobia in places it may be even more potent; in their schools, their homes, their workplaces and throughout the world.

We will be marching on Thursday 9th June, meeting at 7pm at Waitangi Park (formerly Chaffers), traveling to Cuba St where there will be guest speakers and an open mic. Please bring glow sticks, torches, etc to light up our city. All supporters welcome.

another type of bullying

i'm just going to link to other people's writing on the case where a jury acquitted who had admitted tying his son to his wrist, shaving his hair off and washing his mouth with soap:

"It is probably the worst thing I have ever done to my child, but I grabbed my tie that I wear for church and I tied his wrist to my wrist beside my bed so he couldn't take off and go and kill himself," the father told the Sunday Star-Times. "Then he did manage to loosen it, so I did tie it around his neck for only about 30 seconds. I admitted to those things in court, but given the circumstances and what I was trying to achieve – trying to stop him killing himself – I was found not guilty."

here is stef, who doesn't think this kind of parenting is typical.

and neither does the queen of thorns (and no, i won't give her a dismissive introduction so that you can take her less seriously).

i don't have much more to add. that we live in a society where a jury can acquit a person on this kind of behaviour is indeed a sad thing. i don't understand how putting a tie around your child's throat in attempt to stop him killing himself is a productive exercise. and the lead juror should be "embarassed to be a new zealander", but not for the reasons she thinks.

seriously, if she doesn't think this was a case that needed to be answered, i don't know what is.

on becoming a hero

a victim fights back and becomes a hero. it's not hard to understand why. i think many of understand what it's like to be picked on, to feel helpless and harassed. or we've been in situations where we've not had the power to stand up to peole who have treated us unfairly, who have put us in a position of fear.

maybe it's that more primal instinct of fight or flight, and when flight isn't a possibility, we love the ones who fight back. is it our collective hatred of wimps, of any sign of weakness? so that when we come across someone who does fight back, we express our contempt of weakness by applauding the fighter.

the latter seems to me to be a stronger possibility, especially given the adjectives used to describe physical weakness or emotional cowardice. most of which seem to be aligned to feminine characteristics, funnily enough, while courage is described as having balls or being a man. [as an aside, i'll just express here how much i hate it when the new nz masterchef judge who keeps using the word "ballsy", even to women. seriously, is it that hard to accept the fact that you can have courage without having balls?]

the reason these questions come to mind is because the applauding of this young hero who has been able to physically fight back puts that much more pressure on those people who aren't able to fight back, for whatever reason. by making him a hero, we say that those who don't fight back are the opposite.

it's an insidious way of making the victim responsible for preventing bullying, and another example of a society that is unable to put responsbility squarely where it belongs: primarily, those who bully. but also those who applaud the bullying though not taking part themselves, those who watch silently but do nothing (unless, of course, they fear for their own safety), those who run institutions where bullying takes place and who cultivate an environment that encourages a lack of empathy, or at the very least haven't set up adequate structures to protect people from bullying. if our young hero was being bullied for three years, as is stated in the article, then surely the school is doing something wrong.

on top of all that, responsibility lies with a society that prizes the fighter and has contempt for the weak.

*thanx to the person who started an excellent facebook discussion which influenced my thinking on this: you know who you are

violence is not an adequate response

surely i'm not the only one who had never heard of benji marshall until his appearing in the news for allegedly [just for you, graeme] assaulting someone outside a macdonalds in sydney. normally, this is not the kind of thing i'm remotely interested in, but mr marshall is claiming that he was provoked through the use of racial slurs being hurled at him.

while mr marshall is being defended by some, while others think he needs to develop a better response to such a situation, one of the worst pieces i've read would have to be this one by steve deane:

That Kiwis captain Benji Marshall would put himself in a position to end up in a punch-up at McDonald's at 3am a week before the NRL season begins is a major surprise.

seriously? "put himself in a position"?? mr marshall isn't actually the victim here, although he is allegedly the victim of verbal abuse. he should not put in himself in a position to be abused? presumably this means he should not go out anywhere where he might come across a racist. i wonder how one could be sure of finding such a place. mr deane no doubt means that he just shouldn't go out. he certainly shouldn't go out onto a field of play, because from what i've heard, there's a lot of racist sledging that happens in sports matches, and he wouldn't want to put himself in a position to end up in a punch-up, right?

surely the proposition that anyone should be able to go anywhere at any time without being subjected to racial harassment is not a difficult or unreasonable one. it can't be so difficult to understand that mr marshall didn't put himself in any kind of position. it was the people who allegedly abused him who are fully responsible for their actions and who should be held responsible for them.

having said that, i don't actually have any time for mr marshall's response, being to allegedly punch someone in the face. i don't accept mr devlin's views (linked to above) that:

In the world where us boys live, Benji Marshall "being baited by a group of up to 10 people (allegedly) calling him a black cee and telling him to eff off back to NZ" would appear to have simply introduced some drunk thug to an age-old masculine concept called "got what you deserved".

If you'd prefer an attitude a little less caveman, then BM was acting in self-defence, protecting himself (and probably his friends) from a bunch of bullying cowards in circumstances that could've so easily spiralled into something way more serious.

this kind attitude really worries me. we already see a relatively large amount of (off-field) violence from male sportspeople. often this violence is targetted against women, and often we see the victim being blamed for provoking the violence against her. i totally agreed with the move in nz to remove provocation as a defence for violence, and i don't believe it's any kind of excuse here.

it could be said that the violent culture around support, and especially around various codes of rugby, provoked the racial outburst. plenty has been written about the need to have a strong, aggressive attitude in top-level competitive sport. image is crucial and the image cultivated by many in these sports is a tough and confrontational one.

i totally understand the dynamics of racism and bigotry. i know how it can wear a person down, when they have to suffer countless small incidents. i appreciate that tolerance levels can be stretched, and at some point a person will snap. there is a power structure around mr marshall which makes it almost impossible for him to deal effectively with racism within his sports code, on the field and in the locker room. trying to expose that culture and hold racists to account comes with significant consequences and could lead to him having to leave the sport if he persisited. i understand the feelings of powerlessness which would lead to him having a violent response in a particular situation where he did actually have some power to respond.

but the fact is that violence from our top-level athletes is too often excused, and not dealt with seriously. to excuse it in this case makes it so much easier to excuse it in others. to say that violence in this case is ok is to undermine other non-violent responses. it also encourages violence as a reasonable response to verbal abuse, which can only lead to an escalation in violence over the longer term.

mr marshall should not have to suffer racial abuse. the answer to that lies outside of his hands. until the leadership in his sports code takes a much stronger stance, until society and societal structures take a much stronger stance, it is very difficult for mr marshall to change the environment in which he lives as an individual. but it does need to be changed, both for the racism and the violence.

to deal with the latter, it is right that mr marshall be charged and if found guilty, face the consequences of his action. the question then remains: how to effectively deal with racial abuse and hold those who dish it out accountable for their actions? it needs to happen at all levels, within the sport and outside of it.

headline fail... in fact, total fail

there have some cases in hamilton of men being abducted and raped. it turns out that the police have now made an arrest, so how do you think it was reported in the waikato times? with the following blaring headline on the front page of yesterday's paper:

Man-sex cases: arrest made

really? seriously? the best way you can describe male sexual assault is "man-sex"??? have you all not heard of the word "rape"? it's a simple four-letter word, it clearly describes what happened, it doesn't take up much space. in a side-bar, they manage to use the tag "sex attacks on men", which at least gives the notion of lack of consent. see, it's not so hard is it?

but that isn't the only bit of fail in the article. check out the last few paragraphs:

Waikato University Associate Professor Doug Boer said male rape victims were even more reticent than women when it came to reporting being sexually assaulted "because of the assault on their self-image as a man as well as being a rape victim".

"Also, men don't generally conceive of themselves as potentially a victim of sexual assault, so when it happens it is entirely counter to the victim's sense of what is possible."

again, i have to say, really? you think women's self-image doesn't take a hit when they become a rape victim? it surely does. and they way female rape victims are treated, particularly by our media, by our justice system & by society in general, well all of that creates quite a considerable barrier to women reporting rape & sexual assault. in fact, i've read that only 1 in 10 cases will be reported.

if that figure is less for men (and i'd like to see the evidence), then yes, that needs some unpacking. a lot of it will be related to the way gender is constructed in our society, as well as to homophobia. but the way this is worded - "assault on their self-image" - as if this is something that just happens to men, it's just pathetic.

children's crusade

this song is one my favourite ever, although i had listened to it for years and had forgotten what it was called. but thanx youtube! i've put in a version below that just had the lyrics. there's another version on youtube here, which is quite powerful but extremely graphic in its depiction of violence so i didn't think it was appropriate to put up here. on the other hand, we are so often presented sanitised pictures of the reality of war, and what we find difficult to look at, well just imagine how that feels to the people who have to experience it. in any case, if you have the stomach for it, go look at the other version, because it also has some useful information amongst the images. and if you don't, maybe listen to the version below and take a moment to think about the most innocent casualties of wars around the world.